Learning to Breathe

hello world

2010-07-06T20:11:00.000-07:00

I am contemplating that possibility of becoming a blogger again. My time on the internet was most recently taken up by Lost (yes, it's okay, you can laugh at me!), but now Lost is over. I almost always have school work to be doing, but I love to procrastinate. Plus, it always feels good to write. I just recently joined twitter (follow me-@ lcglassford), and there have been a few times where my thoughts were to long for the tiny amount of space you are given per tweet. SO we shall see how loyal I can be to this blog. For now that is all- I must go read 40 pages of Thoreau's Walden before class tomorrow morning!

-Christy G

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T06:10:00.000-08:00

The year that is drawing toward its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added which are of so extraordinary a nature that they can not fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever-watchful providence of Almighty God…

No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy…

It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged, as with one heart and one voice, by the whole American people. I do therefore invite my fellow-citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners, or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the imposition of the Almighty hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it, as soon as may be consistent with the divine purpose, to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity, and union.

Lincoln's Thanksgiving Proclamation

Washington, DC—October 3, 1863

New Life

2009-08-01T14:40:00.001-07:00

This is the last scene of the third episode of LOST...I love it. The conversation between Jack and Kate is so great. "We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life" (Rom 6:4).

What I love most is how the Truth of the Gospel surfaces all over the place in this show. There is a very strong theme of Redemption weaved throughout the plot. Whether the writers intended it or not. LOST is chalked full Christian themes. Just another reason to love this show. :)

Bleeding Love

2009-07-13T21:15:00.001-07:00

What's my new favorite tv show?? That would be So You Think You Can Dance!!! How the heck have I missed out on this show the past few summers? Not quite sure, BUT watch this dance...it's awesome!

Long Time No Talk

2009-06-19T21:35:00.000-07:00

Once again, I find myself sitting in front of my beloved Mac with my fingers itching to write. I must give this shout out to Apple simply because I got this Mac (my first) for my birthday last year, and it has yet to disappoint. I will always and forevermore be prejudiced when it comes to the great battle between a Mac and a PC.

I'm slightly embarrassed that I have not written in six months. What, with my beloved tv show LOST and the demands of my English and History classes, there simply was no time for leisure writing. I was writing like a maniac for this class and that one, but now with a break I find that I am missing it.

My break. Yes, at the last minute my summer plans changed. Who knew it would cost $1400 for just one summer class! So, yet again, I find myself in Montgomery for the summer.

There's not too much to do here, but I am finding ways to entertain myself. Of course, I applied for several jobs, but let's face it: no one wants to hire someone for just three months at the moment, and there are several other people out there interviewing who actually need the money. So, I'm working at my dad's office a couple of days a week.

I have committed myself to reading this summer. I am going to be a reading fiend. I'm trying to tackle all the greats that are still on my list. I also want to read all the books that I might teach one day to high-schoolers. Confession: I am a huge dork. My current reading list has, I kid you not, 60 books on it. One day I may post it. There are just SO MANY wonderful books out there.

That's all for now. I hope this post finds all you bloggers happy and well. I guess only time will tell if I post again anytime soon :)

-LCG

can't wait!!!

2009-01-03T18:34:00.001-08:00

good stuff

2008-11-03T21:18:00.000-08:00

We were created for the purpose of giving Christ's invisible character a glimpse of visibility.

Lord, many have run this difficult race faithfully. I want to be among them. Therefore since I am surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, help me throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and help me run with perseverance the race marked out for me.

Help me fix my eyes on You, Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith, who for the joy set before You endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will You, my God, rejoice over me at Your appearing.

-from Beth Moore's Praying God's Word Day by Day

choices

2008-10-24T13:17:00.000-07:00

I've been reflecting on my life over the past few years. I've mentioned this before, but I'm at a weird place. I think about who I was before I got sick, and then who I was after I got sick. They are two very different extremes. I also think about who I am now, which is somewhere in the middle. I don't really know how to explain it. But anyways, as I come back out of my shell, as I break down these walls that I built up in order to shut out the world, I wonder who I really am.

The other week at Encounter Matt talked about the parable of the talents. He asked what has God given you and what are you doing with it. Are you burying it out of fear? That question keeps playing over and over in my mind. Am I hiding part of who I am, part of who I used to be, because I'm scared? I don't know what exactly I'm scared of. Maybe it's getting so sick again. I've just been wrestling with that.

As I was thinking about all those things though, it lead me to think about choices that I've made over the past three years. Choices that weren't bad, but just weren't the best. Choices that cut myself off from people. Choices that caused some friendships to slip away. Choices that caused me to miss out on stuff. BUT the other day the Lord brought all these thoughts to a halt.

I've been reading through Isaiah, and it's so wonderful. The passage that leapt out at me was ch. 43 v. 18-19.

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing A NEW THING! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."

The Lord is doing something NEW in me. He is. I know it, I feel it. And that is just SO encouraging. I need to stop worrying about what has happened. Forget about it, because He already has. Not only has He forgotten it, but He is working something new and refreshing and exciting in me. In me. Why He is that good, and that gracious I will never be able to understand, but that doesn't mean it's not happening. He is moving. He is working things out. He is doing something new. And that is all I need to know.

Isn't it so great how He moves and reveals things to us. I found this so encouraging which is why I decided to share it. Now matter what we have chosen to do in the past, He still chooses to work in us. He is faithful. He is always faithful. Even when we are faithless, he is faithful.

So I can sit and waste my life wondering about the past, wondering who I am, or I can choose to claim my identity in Christ, walk in His truth, and let Him work in and through me.

I think I will choose the second option. What good am I doing if I choose the first?

LOST SEASON 5

2008-10-23T21:02:00.000-07:00

oh my gosh. check it out now. LOST season 5 preview!!!

http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2008/10/lost-season-5-p.html

it's awesome :)

random thoughts

2008-10-20T20:30:00.000-07:00

-the weather right now is incredible. who doesn't love the crisp fall air?

-i was reading for my linguistics class and in this chapter they were talking about the word [asked]. i often find myself talking out loud as i am reading for this class- somehow it helps me to process it. so anyways i said the word [asked] out loud over and over. do it. after like four times the word suddenly doesn't sound like a word anymore. isn't that weird?

-my roommate was trying to convince me that most people like tuna. i strongly disagree. i think it smells like cat food, but who knows. maybe i am the crazy one.

-a commercial came on earlier with a woman eating a five dollar bill. at the bottom of the screen are the words "Dramatization. Do Not Attempt." are you kidding me? wow.

-i'm reading The Sound and the Fury. Faulkner is brilliant. insane, but brilliant.

-The Empire Strikes Back is on. oh how i love Star Wars (the new ones will never be as great as the old ones).

-tonight on Chuck there was a ten year reunion for the class of 1998. at the reunion they definitely busted out some Backstreet Boys and some Hanson. i was instantly transported back to the 6th grade. the funny thing is that ten years later, i still listen to Hanson. their latest cd is actually really good. you should check it out.

school

2008-10-16T20:46:00.000-07:00

school has consumed me. i am not dead. atleast not yet. i always do this. i don't know why. actually i do know why. i'm just some crazy perfectionist. BUT Jesus is teaching me some great things. like school. somehow or another, i let my identity get wrapped up in how well i am doing in school. i think it's really easy to let this happen. my worth is based on my grades. obviously this is so far from the truth, but i feel like it is so easy to fall into this mindset. teachers, in some ways encourage it. you are a great student if you perform well in their class. i don't know. there's pushing you to do your best, and then there is convincing you this is why you are important. this is why you are great, because you have a great mind. so anyways, the Lord just convicted me of this earlier this semester. my identity is not found in my school work. my identity is in HIM. I am a daughter of the King. I am covered in His blood. And Christ in me is the Hope of Glory. gosh. that is a life changing truth. and then i wonder, how many times will i learn and relearn this life changing truth. Probably over and over and over. But it was just great to relearn that, and take that pressure off myself. Instead, when i do well, it's nothing about how smart i am. It's about how He is working in and through me. In everything, my purpose is to know Him and to make Him known. That's it. Bottom line, the end. When it boils down to that, everything becomes clear. So that's a bit of what's going on with me. Maybe I will be better about posting at normal increments. Until next time. -lcg

so long summer

2008-08-10T17:55:00.000-07:00

Time sure does fly when you are busy. I know thats not the saying, but the summer has flown. I think a lot of it had to do with the classes I was taking. Keeps you busy. But they are done, YAY. I have one week until fall semester begins. I finished up this past Tuesday, and I already am getting ancy. So this tells me I'm ready for school to start up. I have one week-what to do, what to do. I have been doing some massive cleaning in my room. The whole works- going through drawers, throwing away bags and bags of junk. Keeping a few things for my "memory box". I wanted to write a lot more than this but I'm afraid I can feel my head getting worse- back to the ice bags. Since I'm cutting this short, sorry it is not entertaining. I will work really hard to deliver in my next post. Peaceout.

public speaking

2008-07-08T08:10:00.000-07:00

What is up. Ok so I'm taking a public speaking class this summer. Our first assignment was to write a speech. I thought I would post it. Basically I wanted to post, but didn't have anything particular to talk about today. So here is my self-introductory speech:

Have you ever heard the quote “If it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger?” I think this is an accurate summary of my life over the past few years. I suffer from chronic migraines. Pain is something I deal with on a daily basis. Because of these migraines, my life has been radically changed. Today I want to share with you two specific ways that migraines have changed my life.

To begin with, my migraines have changed my lifestyle. I’ve had migraines all my life, but they became severe my first year of college. I had to drop out of school my second year because the migraines were so debilitating. I ended up going to one of the top migraine clinics in the country that year. At this clinic, which was in Michigan, I was told that I must have structure and stability. This was the best way to fight chronic pain. I had to get the proper amount of sleep, eat the right foods at the right time, take my medicines at the right time, and learn how to avoid any possible migraine triggers. Once I got home, this was very hard to stick to. College lifestyle seemed to be the exact opposite of what I needed. Because I stuck to this healthy regimen, I had to sacrifice many opportunities to spend time with my friends. I also had to stop dancing, which was something that I loved to do. I’ve had to deal with weight gain and depression. These two things often come hand in hand with medications and chronic pain. I eventually felt that I had become a completely different person.

Secondly, my migraines have changed my faith. I grew up going to a Christian church and school. When I became so sick, I really had to look at what I believed and why I believed it. I wondered why I should continue to live my life for Christ when he was allowing all this pain. I eventually chose to believe that there is purpose in my suffering. I have to cling to this truth; it is sometimes the thing that gets me through the day. I have also learned about humility and perseverance. I have realized the world does not revolve around me, but rather that I am a tiny piece of the bigger picture. Perseverance is essential when dealing with chronic pain. You have to learn to push through the really hard times, even when you don’t want to.

To conclude, I have shared with you two changes I have experienced. Both of these changes are results of dealing with chronic migraines over the past few years. These migraines have changed my lifestyle, and they have also changed my faith. “If it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger.” Each day that I face, I choose to believe that this whole experience really is making me a stronger person.

Hosea 2:14-15, 19-20

2008-06-29T12:31:00.000-07:00

Therefore, behold, I will allure her and bring her into the wilderness, and I will speak tenderly and to her heart.

There I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor [troubling] to be for her a door of hope and expectation. And she shall sing there and respond as in the days of her youth and as at the time when she came up out of the land of Egypt.

And I will betroth you to Me forever; yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy.

I will even betroth you to Me in stability and in faithfulness, and you shall know (recognize, be acquainted with, appreciate, give heed to, and cherish) the Lord.

thoughts for today

2008-06-27T13:39:00.000-07:00

things on my mind today:

-sometimes i just straight up wonder what the heck is coming up next in life. there's something exciting about not knowing, but scary at the same time.

-years are going by faster and faster. i can't seem to stop it.

-i've decided i don't really like facebook. i get on occasionally, but most of the time i feel like it is a popularity contest. it just doesn't sit well with me.

-i was thinking earlier about all the different guys i've ever liked. there are lots. it makes me laugh.

-bubba downloaded donkey kong and super mario world on the wii. i was playing it and it felt like i was transported back 10 years. somehow i still remember all those games and how to play them. how many pointless things are seared into my memory??

-there's something about being home in the summer. i love my friends. they are amazing, but sometimes its nice to just be alone.

-i just finished the time traveler's wife. it was really good, but so sad. somehow that book made me appreciate the fact that i have free will.

-i love how music can take you back to a specific place or time. sometimes it brings back up feelings i haven't felt in forever.

-am i on the right path? as far as my life is concerned that is. i know this is where the Lord has led me, but satan still whispers in my ear. i must claim truth. it's the only way to defeat it.

-can you tell i'm felling nostalgic and sentimental today??

Are you lost yet?

2008-06-17T07:27:00.000-07:00

I wanted to write a post about LOST. First I must say the finale was incredible! Just incase you don't remember, I will say it again. LOST is seriously the best television show ever. The writing is brilliant. I must take this opportunity to shamelessly admit that I was part of the S4 Lost Fantasy League. Oh yes. You can laugh, but I had fun. My team consisted of Kate, Desmond, Sun, Aaron, Nadia, and Charles Widmore. There are different character groups and you pick out your team. Anyways, there were over 2400 entries this past year. Out of 2400 and some odd people I got 58th place!! I was excited. So now I must pick my new team. It's a tough decision. But the main reason for this post is to discuss the future of LOST. I keep reading all these predictions online so I thought I would write mine down. This way, I have tangible evidence that I "called it" if it ends up being true :)

1.Locke is Jacob.

2. Jack and Kate are Adam and Eve ( the skeletons they found in S1).

3.Charlotte is Ben's and Annie's child.

4. There is some sort of time loop involved.

Ok, so there you have it. My predictions. Of course I have several other theories, but I feel strong enough about these to write them down. I've thought all of these for a while now. Of course I have had several other theories along the way: the everyone has a twin theory, the island is the lost city of Atlantis, they have to go back somehow and redo things, Charlie is the musician that programmed the Looking Glass station, the whispers are everyone that has died on the island, Libby worked for Widmore, there are alternate timelines/realities, Daniel Faraday has been to the island before, Walt could be Abbadon, Hanso, Widmore, and Paik all work together, Rosseau is Annie, I mean I could go on and on... some have been shot down, while others are simply waiting to be answered. I think all the speculating just makes me love this show even more.

P&P

2008-06-13T16:09:00.000-07:00

Pride & Prejudice is on tv. The one with Keira Knightley and Matthew Mcfayden. I know everyone LOVES the one with Colin Firth. I love it too, but I'm biased towards the newer one. I saw the 2005 one before I saw the 1995. Let's just say I fell in love with this story when I saw the one in 2005. So anyways I feel compelled to share with you my top three favorite scenes from this movie.

#3. Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth dance together at the Netherfield Ball.

"May I ask to what these questions tend?" "Merely to the illustration of your character," said she, endeavouring to shake off her gravity. "I am trying to make it out." "And what is your success?" She shook her head. "I do not get on at all. I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly."

#2. Mr. Darcy's First Proposal in the Rain.

"...I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed upon to marry."

#1. The Second Proposal at Sunrise

"You must know... surely, you must know it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I'd scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love... I love... I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on."

summertime

2008-06-08T13:13:00.000-07:00

well, it's not even summer yet and it is scorching outside. oh how i love the south. i can't believe i've been out of school for a month. but no need to fear- summer school is here! i'm taking biology online. yup. it's boring, and i really don't get much of, or rather i just straight up don't care, but it sure beats sitting in class everyday.

i'm reading two different books right now. the first is A Walk With Jane Austen. i have thoroughly enjoyed this little book. it's funny, yet insightful. it's great. sometimes a book about Jane Austen can be, well, just badly done, but this one gets my stamp of approval. the other book i'm reading is none other than Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. there is just something SO great about Harry Potter. i can't quite pinpoint it, but it's oh-so-wonderful. i'm gearing up, "prepping" one might say, for the sixth movie coming out in the fall. this is my third time to read this book, and i still love it. that is a great book. that is a great writer.

i attempted to start a flckr account. i now have an auburn, gmail, and yahoo email. you can't have a flckr account w/out a yahoo email account, so now i've got three. score. so anyways i set up the account but i only have like six pictures up there. i really need to finish what i started. it's going to take me a while though, because you can only post 100 pictures a month. it might take a while to get all mine up there, but it will be worth it. why take pictures if you can't share them with everyone, right??

well that's all i've got for today. i'm afraid i have lost my inspiration. well really my muse you could say. my past few posts have been slightly boring. sorry about that. maybe it will find me one day soon. until then...peaceout.

slacker

2008-05-25T15:00:00.000-07:00

so i'm pretty much just a big slacker. i got out of the habit of posting on here during school because i was so busy. now that i have some time to breathe, all i've done is nothing. you know when you mean to got a lot accomplished, but you do nothing and then can't even remember what you actually did all day long. oh well.

so i saw two movies this past weekend. i know, that's a lot. i saw Prince Caspian and Indian Jones 4. Prince Caspian was great. if i hadn't read the books though, i'm not sure if i would have liked it that much though. i feel like the symbolism is stronger in the book, and it's harder to pick up in the movie. ok wait no, you can pick it up, but it's more meaningful in the book.

Indian Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Ok, so i basically had no idea what to expect of this movie. if you don't want to be spoiled don't read any further. Ok, so the movie starts and within the first thirty minutes they've already talked about Area 51, The Philidelphia Experiment, and the Cold War. i was hooked. i got really excited. but it just didn't pull through for me in the end. i tried to convince myself it was great, but then i had a nightmare about it last night. when anything gives me nightmares i must deduct points. it wasn't too hardcore, just aliens and mummies. but you know it's always a lot scarier dreaming it. when you actually start to describe it you feel like an idiot. so it's just the whole UFO taking off at the end. i want to love it, but i just keep thinking about the end, and i can't. of course it's science fiction. i don't know, it just doesn't sit right.

but all is good- get excited for LOST season finale. it's on thursday, and i am pumped. ok that's all i really feel like writing for today. peaceout a-town.

life. is. good.

2008-05-08T17:52:00.000-07:00

yay! the semester is done!! i can finally breathe again!! so much to tell i don't even know where to start. summer is here. a lot of my friends from school are graduating, which makes it bittersweet. i "officially" switched over, and i am now an english major. i'm really excited about it. i was able to make A's in both of my english classes this past semester. that was some wonderful affirmation, because sometimes i wonder if i made the right decision. so i'm looking to take the GRE this summer. can i please take a moment to complain. i thought i was DONE with math. but oh no. once again, math is rearing it's ugly head in my face. of course, it's summer, which means i can read whatever i want!!! ok, so read list for the summer is as follows:
-finish Atonement (school started back up b4 i could finish it)
- The Masque of the Black Tulip (this one is a bit cheesy-it's the the sequel to The Secret Histoy of the Pink Carnation. It kind of is a modern spin-off series to The Scarlet Pimpernel. FYI- The Scarlet Pimpernel was definitely one of my favorite reads as far as high school reading lists go!)
-The Time Traveler's Wife
-Plain Truth (by Jodi Piccult)
-Labrynth
-HP 6 & 7 (movie 6 is coming out in the fall!!)
so thats it.
ok so i'm pretty livid right now. my power just went out and it's less than an hour away for a new LOST!!!!!! they say it might take an hour to get the power back up. i can't even submit this post untill the power comes back on! ok, on that note, i'm off. please please please let me see LOST tonight!!!!

OH LIFE!

2008-04-08T16:45:00.000-07:00

OH LIFE-- Yea. That pretty much sums up what I am feeling. You know, just the craziness it can bring. And there is the giant mass of papers to write, but as one of my lovely friends reminded me: how do you eat an elephant? one. bite. at. a. time. Can i just go off on a tangent really quickly though? Ok, so group project. You think, oh, this won't be that bad. But oh no, it's bad. It's fun getting to know people you wouldn't get to know, but a group of people trying to write a paper. Are you kidding me?? I think its worse than just you yourself writing a paper. So, hopefully we will be able to pull it out.

There are several other things I have wanted to get on here and discuss. Ok, so mainly the election and how the mainstream media is controlling the election. It is driving me crazy. It has become so evident to me lately. Obama is the anointed one, according to mainstream media, and he can do no wrong. Quit trying to control the election dangit!!!!! ahhhh. I only find my satisfaction in watching the first little bit of O'Reilly Factor who is calling everyone out on the left. But, as far as the democratic primary is concerned- I mean, obviously, I don't support Hillary, but if she wants to run in this election until the DNC, then let her! I actually find myself taking Hillary's side in all of this. BUT honestly all of this, from a conservative, republican perspective is wonderful. Let them continue to pick and tear at one another. You just keep that up until August, and I'll just sit back and watch you destroy one another. Of course they all say it's not hurting either one of them, but I think they are gravely mistaken.

I just watched the opening to O'Reilly Factor, and I feel better. Karl Rove is on there tonight, and I love him too. He is so intelligent, and I love hearing his opinion. They are discussing the war, which is so incredibly complicated. They are making an excellent point- Iran is a big factor. They are a huge threat, and if we stay in Iraq, that is an advantage. I don't know. There are SO many factors. And the people voting need to be weighing out everything that is at stake here. Instead, though, they are just tired of the war and want out. I actually heard them talking today about letting Iraq pay us- let the money we give them be a loan that they have to pay us. An interesting idea to consider. Basically there is no easy answer, BUT we cannot afford to lose this war.

So now I will step down off my soap box. That's not even really what I intended to write about, but there you have it :) I really must go read!! I hope everyone is having a lovely week. Goodbye for now!!

Where Did The Semester Go??

2008-03-18T19:17:00.000-07:00

I'm still alive. I promise. I actually typed up a witty little post about a month ago, but after publishing it, something happened. Nothing posted, nor was anything saved. It was wonderful. I went on and on about why I felt Pride and Prejudice is quite possibly one of the best books ever written. It will always and forever be in my top 5 favorite books. But anyway, I'm in a Jane Austen, fiction and film, class this semester, and while it is kicking my butt, I'm absolutely loving it. We were reading P&P earlier, and it was just so wonderful. So far we have read Pride & Prejudice, Northanger Abbey, Sense & Sensibility, and Mansfield Park. They are so wonderful. My teacher is great too. He's the type that pushes and challenges you, which are the ones that end up making you the better student for it. I'm learning to appreciate the genius of Austen though. I won't go on much more, but she was just so brilliant. When you actually start to analyze the text, it's astonishing.

So, as you can see, I've been very busy reading. On top of Jane Austen, I have mythology, ancient Greece and Persia, and theatre. I love them all, there are just lots of projects, papers, tests, and massive amounts of reading. My work load has tripled (literally) since last semester, so I have been trying to figure out how to handle that much work. You know, how to balance it, how to make it all work, along with my head, which has proven to be very trying.

My head has not been very cooperative these past few months. I've just hit a bad spell, which is discouraging on so many levels. It's nothing I'm doing, it just is there. I'm actually trying some new medicine though, which seems to help a little. It's actually a med they use for Alzheimer's patients, but they have seen some success with it for preventing migraines, so we will see.

With my head getting worse, it sent me to this place of just frustration and almost despair. Just the whole mindset of what is this. You know, Lord what is this? Why have You brought me here? What are You trying to teach me? What really is healing? What are the schools of thought on healing within the Christian community? What do I believe? Is there something I'm not doing? Do I not have enough faith? Is that it? Or is that wrong?

It's been an interesting journey. And I know it's nowhere near over. It's probably something I will wrestle with for the rest of my life. There are so many questions, ideas, concepts that I'm working through. But, for now, the Lord used all of this anger and frustration, and somehow helped me channel it into this mad search through His word to find answers.

And I'm not just finding answers, but I'm rediscovering the fundamental core truths of the Gospel. Not that I forgot them, by any means, but someone once told me that the Gospel is so powerful, that it should change you every time you encounter it. And I'm finding that there is a lot of truth in that. The simple truths of the Gospel somehow can be rediscovered and hold such deeper meaning, despite the fact that you've read it through 100 times before.

I've been reading through scripture in the Amplified Bible. I LOVE this translation. For me, I grew up memorizing scripture in school, so I have a tendancy to just read over scripture. Almost like, oh yea, I know what that says, here let me close my bible and recite it. But somehow, I'm not letting that truth sink in. I'm not letting it TRANSFORM me. So reading through the Amplified is awesome. I find it really challenging.

So, all that to say, I've been really busy with school, which is why I've been MIA. And, Jesus is doing ALOT in my heart, which is awesome. So hopefully I will post sooner than later. I guess only time will tell. Until next time. -lcg-

"So It Begins"

2008-02-06T16:00:00.001-08:00

This is the 13th and final mobisode released leading up to the season 4 premire. All I can say is what the (**insert choice explicative here**)?

SUPERTUESDAY

2008-02-05T09:29:00.000-08:00

ahh. my friends. take this time to embrace this historic day. seriously. so i'm headed home after my class this afternoon to vote. can't wait to get my "I voted" sticker :) and.....drum roll........the candidate getting my vote is........Senator John McCain. Yes. I feel like he is the best candidate to represent the Rebuplican party. I really like Huckabee too, but I've thought about this a lot and I really think that if we(Republicans) want to take the White House in November, McCain is the one who can do it. And I'm not compromising anything I believe in by voting for him. I would be if I voted for Romney (don't even get me started on Romney). But I really do like Huckabee. I would love to see McCain to get the nomination and then Huckabee run as his VP. BUT let's not get ahead of ourselves. I also can't wait to see what happens in California AND I can't wait to see what happens between Clinton and Obama. Ok so I'm hoping McCain pulls it out today. What led me to vote for him? A couple of things happened last week. 1. He won SC. 2. He won FL. 3. Juliani pulled out and endorsed him. 4. Schwarzenegger endorsed him. All these people saying he's too left need to settle down, no one is perfect, and he's the best chance we have at taking the White House. Seriously it's McCain or Romney who's a liar and a fake who thinks his money can buy him this nomination. Romney has flip-flopped on so many issues it's ridiculous. And I hate to say it but Huckabee doesn't have a realistic shot. He only has a possible lead in a few states, and you need much more than that to win. Ok, I got carried away, but I was watching the news listening to them debate about McCain and I got inspired. So--> bottom line: if you are in one of the 22 states included in Super Tuesday, Go Vote!!

Ode to Heath

2008-01-27T19:44:00.000-08:00

I hate the way you talk to me,
and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots,
and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick;
it even makes me rhyme.
I hate it, I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around,
and the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

migraine info

2008-01-26T11:46:00.000-08:00

i decided to write a post about migraines. there is a great non-profit organization funding research for migraines. there is a link to the website on the right. but anyway they have a really good description so i'm borrowing it from them. the reason i decided to do this is simply because i really feel like i have atleast one conversation a week about my migraines, what is wrong, what causes it, am i better, will i get better, etc. so here is some info.

CHRONIC MIGRAINES: For about 4% of the population, the illness (Migraines) progresses to Chronic Migraine when attacks come nearly daily and are severe. Those who suffer from Chronic Migraine use a combination of acute, preventive, and complementary treatments to try to control or lessen the disabling pain. Depression, anxiety, and sleep disturbances are common for those with Chronic Migraine. These sufferers are often significantly disabled, and their overall quality of life is greatly diminished. Although there are many contributing factors to the progression from episodic Migraine to Chronic Migraine, medication overuse is the most common. Over-the-counter as well as prescription drugs can cause overuse headaches. Overuse is defined as using pain killers, triptans, or certain other medications more than 2-3 days per week, week after week and month after month. This can create a headache-worsening pattern that results in more headaches and the resulting need to take more medicine. Not only is the pattern itself harmful, but while in this cycle, other effective treatments often do not work. The only way out of this cycle is to stop the pattern of overuse.
(I was overusing drugs like excedrine mirgraine and aleeve. Unfortunately, my doctors did not fully understand how detrimental taking medicine more than 2-3 times a week could be, and I went from having really bad Migraines to Chronic Migraines where your head hurts all the time. I'm still fighting that today, but I take Skelaxin, which is a muscle relaxer, and does not cause "rebound" headaches.)

UNANSWERED QUESTIONS: Migraine remains poorly understood and frequently mistreated. Researchers still do not understand many things about the causes of Migraine, the role of genetics, the nature of pain, and the reasons why medications work only on some people and in some situations. As a result, sufferers often endure a lengthy process of trial and error to discover an effective treatment. Once a treatment is determined, it may not alleviate every attack, and it may prove ineffective over time. Some people suffer from several different types of Migraine, making diagnosis and treatment that much more difficult.
(I have different types of Migraines and I have several triggers. Who knows if we will ever find the answer as to what is the cause of a Migraine.)

So, that is what's wrong with me. Maybe that clears things up a bit. Atleast now, you understand a little more about migraines. It is interesting to note that 10% of the U.S. population is affected by Migraines. So, let's hope that we are able to find some answers sometime soon.

waaassssuuupppp

2008-01-22T18:58:00.000-08:00

in my head i'm quoting michael scott, but you can't hear how i'm saying waaassssuuuppp, so this is why i am clarifying. ahhhh. i'm procrastinating. go figure. i have a paper due thursday. ugh. school. ugh. i really like what i'm learning in my classes i just don't want to be tested on it or have to write a paper on it. i will say that herotodus is kind of funny, sometimes. oh my gosh, i need to go read. what is my problem. so in the news today- fred thompson dropped out. i'm not surprised honestly. still don't know who is getting my vote. ah, something to ponder later. and this is way sad. heath ledger died today! i was so upset. seriously. it's just so sad. it's kind of like when steve irwin died. it's someone who everyone really likes and respects, and its just so tragic. speaking of tragedy- i still have not seen atonement and i'm dying to see it!! it won the golden globe for best picture drama. hahaha and sweeney todd won for best picture comedy/musical. man, i loved sweeney todd. is that bad to admit that?? oh well, i thought it was great. gotta love tim burton. ok so i'm rambling. surprise? no. i have to go read me some herodotus, yes!! aren't you jealous?? i know, i know. don't worry, i will post a very detailed account of what i find :) peaceout for now.

are you kidding me?!?

2008-01-19T07:55:00.000-08:00

so yea. it's FREAKING SNOWING in ALABAMA. what? yea i know. and that's not why i am ill. i came home for the weekend. and of course my good camera is in AUBURN!!!! oh my gosh. i'm so mad at myself!!! i can't believe it's snowing right now, and i can't even get a good picture. ahhh i'm so distraught! haha ok i'll stop being dramatic, but hey it is my blog, and i'll cry if i want to, right? ok i'm going to watch the snow. in alabama. craziness.

greater things are yet to come.

2008-01-12T19:26:00.000-08:00

jesus is moving. i know it. i can feel it. i feel it in my heart. i feel it in my soul. i feel it in every fiber of my being. it's incredible. it's a stirring that i can't quite define. i am having trouble finding words, but just make sure that you won't be missing out.

grr facebook

2008-01-10T22:11:00.000-08:00

seriously. why do i get on facebook. how many hours of my life have i wasted on facebook. my head is hurting, i need to go to bed, but oh no, i think i will click on this persons profile. oh my gosh i haven't seen them in forever, click. oh my gosh look at her picture, click. oh look there's so and so, click....an hour later, when i should be in bed, i'm still clicking away. it's a problem. grrr. makes me mad. but of course, i always wonder back in a few days. darn you mark zuckerberg!!!

leave a message at the beep.

2008-01-05T13:01:00.001-08:00

I have a serious problem. I cannot, for the life of me, leave a short voicemail. I think I may have mentioned this a long time ago. As hard as I try, I just cannot say "Hey, this is Christy, give me a call back." I always give an explanation and just ramble on and on. Seriously. I often leave a message and it tells me the message I left is too long and I have to rerecord a new message, but then I end up saying in the new message I had to rerecord because my first message was too long and.....oh my goodness. You know I didn't even bother making a New Year's resolution this year, so maybe leaving shorter messages will be mine. The bad thing is that if I am somewhere with something else going on around me or driving or anything like that, halfway through my super long message I just space out and completely lose my train of thought. Yes. So if you have ever had to listen to one of my long messages or ever have to again in the future, I apologize, here and now, for the minute and a half that you spent listening to me ramble on about nothing. :)

The Iowa Caucuses

2008-01-03T15:58:00.000-08:00

Well, I personally cannot wait to hear the results from the Iowa Caucuses. This year there is so much up in the air, and no one really knows what is going to happen. I thought I would take this post to discuss my frustration with the republican primary candidates. and with the democrats as well I guess. First off, I am a conservative. If you don't agree with me thats fine, but I just thought I would put down my opinion. Well the top three democratic candidates are virtually neck and neck in the polls- Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John Edwards. Out of the three I would prefer John Edwards, but obviously, I'm voting in the republican primary. Honestly thought, I will be really surprised if Hillary doesn't get the nomination. But she may not win Iowa, and that will be interesting. Now lets look at the GOP candidates. To be completely honesty, I am undecided. I do know that I am not voting for Juliani and I am most definitley NOT voting for Romney. And I'm not voting for Ron Paul. For some reason in Auburn there is a big Ron Paul group, and I just don't get that either. So that leaves McCain, Thompson, and Huckabee. I like all three of them. Neither one has me sold. I really liked Thompson back in September, but he just never really took off. How, might you ask, have I formed my opinions? Well, I would just like to say that Tim Russert on Meet the Press has interviewed almost all the candidates. Obviously I've looked at their websites and watched some of the debates and of course Fox News, but the interviews that Tim Russert did were just really good. You can watch them online on the Meet the Press website if you are interested. I'm still undecided, but I really hope Huckabee beats Romney tonight in Iowa. I can't quite explain why I have such a huge problem with Romney, but it's mostly because he seems fake, arrogant, and who knows how he really feels about issues because he changes his mind every few years. So there you go, that is my opinion, for now. Alabama's primaries are in feburary so I have to make up my mind by then. I guess the best way for me to end this post would just be to encourage everyone to get out and vote!! You have a say in who will represent your party in november so exercise that right!!! Be smart, get informed, and go vote!! :)

Catch up on Lost in 8 minutes

2007-12-31T08:25:00.001-08:00

No one can ever tell me that they don't understand Lost anymore. This video is awesome- it was released by ABC. If you actually watch Lost, it is hilarious. So anyways, catch up in 8 minutes and you are ready for season 4 :)

touch, touch, ipod touch :)

2007-12-30T14:41:00.000-08:00

yea. so i got an ipod touch for christmas. i was pretty stoked. its freakin awesome. i can jump on the internet with it while i'm out and about if there is an open Wi-Fi network. i can watch videos off youtube. anytime i want to watch the new lost trailer, bam, there it is. i love it. i would highly recommend it to anyone.

BUT i have yet to put all my music on it. let me explain why. i am currently massively rennovating my itunes library. and i can't put my music on the new ipod touch until i finish. it's such a pain but i've been needing to do it forever. i got a shuffle i guess maybe like a year ago or so. they rock too. they are perfect for when you workout. so i was putting some of my music onto the shuffle and somehow all the songs on the playlist i made were deleted off of my itunes library. i'm not super computer savvy, but i'm not a complete idiot, alteast i like to think so. my little bro who is computer savvy couldn't figure it out either. anyways, all that to say, i was missing like 200 songs in my library. but it was random songs, one song from this album, one from that. so i'm finally coming back in and going through all my music, figuring out what is missing and just pulling it off my cds and putting it back in my library. but its a slow process.

when i got my laptop before i went off to college i guess like four years ago i spent FOREVER putting all my music onto my computer. i've always been a big cd collector. i hate to think about all the money i've spent over the years, seriously, but thats ok. when i was younger i would always spend my allowance on cds. now not so much simply because my "allowance" is what i buy my food with these days. but i still like to buy a cd here and there. i know i could just buy it off itunes. but i love buying the cd. i don't know what my problem is. oh well. but my point, is that i never finished putting all my music onto my itunes library. so i'm making myself do that too. and i have a TON of "mix" cds from like jr high. i need to go through all of those too. i refuse to buy a song off itunes if i already have it somewhere on a cd, i just need to find it and put in the info.

oh the days of napster. after napster i remember there was limewire for a while. i really do remember in like eighth grade paying this kid $5 a cd to make "Christy's Mix". we all did, everyone, atleast all the girls did. we used to sit in computer class trying to come up with the perfect mix list. hahaha i haven't thought about that in forever!!! oh goodness. junior high. good memories.

so anyways, all that to say, my new project is itunes library. we will see how long it takes me. hopefully not too long. but after that, watch out, bc i will be jamming out with my new ipod touch :)

oh. my. goodness.

2007-12-23T11:55:00.001-08:00

are you ready to get lost?? haha. cheesey sorry!! but get excited. this season 4 trailer looks SO good!!! I cannot wait til Jan 31!!

Atonement

2007-12-19T15:12:00.000-08:00

Well, can I just say how wonderful it is to be done with school for just a few short weeks. I got through finals (Praise the Lord! wasn't sure if I was going to make it!!) about a week ago, which is hard to believe honestly. Oh how time flies. Actually it doesn't, my head has just been really bad, and I've been in bed for the majority of the time since I got home. BUT that is ok. It has to get better right?? Let's hope. Ah I digress. So anyways, I'm out of school and that means I get to read what I want for the next few weeks. First up is Atonement by Ian McEwan. Oh my goodness. It's SO good!! I'm 100 pages in and it's amazing. And I can't wait for the movie. The movie has a website and I was watching the clips. The movie seems to stay pretty true to the book, and the cinematography is beautiful. I'm slightly upset because there is a possibility the movie may not even come to Montgomery. Of course. So anyways, get excited. The movie has been nominated for several Golden Globes. I just know that I love Kiera Knightely in Pride and Prejudice and I love James McAvoy in Becoming Jane so I just can't wait!!! Next on my reading list is Lord of the Rings. I've never read it, and I think I might attempt it. I've had several people tell me I would love it and that it's so good, but I just talked to two people the other day who said they read the first two books and ditched it because it was so boring. So I don't know. I guess we will see. So I hope this post finds everyone well and enjoying this wonderful, magical time of year!! Happy Christmas!!

A Christmas Prayer

2007-12-08T09:09:00.000-08:00

Breath of heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of heaven

Breath of heaven
Lighten my darkness
Pour over me your holiness
For you are holy
Breath of heaven

Check. It. Out.

2007-12-03T13:29:00.001-08:00

The Today Show actually called Foy Student Union in Auburn!! too funny. As soon as he said he was going to call, I knew he would get put on hold, but that's ok. It is still great. We were on the Today Show!! WAR EAGLE!! :)

HELP!!!

2007-11-29T08:34:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness!! Someone please help me. I have a 10 page paper due tomorrow and I just started typing it up. Of course this is my own stupid fault. I actually have a good thesis and a 2 1/2 page outline so I'm good, I think, but I just started trying to type. I'm sitting in the computer lab in Haley Center, which is distracting to begin with. And my head is killing me. And I have a friend's recital and Encounter tonight, which I am not missing, which means this has to get done this afternoon. So I'm sitting here and it took me freaking ten minutes to come up with three decent sentences. Where is my muse!?!?! Please come and save me!! Ok, I just had to rant for a moment. Ahh. I feel a little bit better. Ok, back to the drawing board. Word.

Rich Colors

2007-11-21T14:27:00.000-08:00

The fall has been so beautiful in Auburn this year. I was sad to head home for Thanksgiving and leave all the beautiful colors behind. It's pretty at home, but hands down, Auburn wins. Apparently, when there is not a lot of rain, it causes a pretty fall. Don't hold me to that- it's just something I heard. So anyways, before I left the loveliest village on the plains, I went up to campus to take some pictures. This is just one of the many pictures I took. I had so much fun. I took nearly 100 photos. Oh how I love digital. I really love taking pictures, but I'm not that great at it. I have decided that the only way I will ever get better is to just practice. So, that's one of my new goals. But I digress.

Back to the leaves. All the colors-reds, yellows, greens, oranges- blend together against the bright blue sky and it just makes me happy. So I was driving the other day with the windows down, breathing in fresh air and just thanking the Lord for His beauty all around me, and that verse from Ecclesiastes came to me: "He has made everything beautiful in its time." For some reason I found so much hope in that. All these beautiful trees go through all these seasons. And they are beautiful in each season, but in different ways. So I went and looked up that verse. Here's what jumped out at me(it's Ecc. 3 from the amplified bible):

"TO EVERYTHING there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven....He has made everything beautiful in its time. He also has planted eternity in men's hearts and minds [a divinely implanted sense of a purpose working through the ages which nothing under the sun but God alone can satisfy], yet so that men cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end."

Just to hear that and certain things just be affirmed in my heart was so encouraging. And I also loved it because we are entering Christmastime, which ties in the season theme. It was just exactly what my heart needed to hear. Thank you Lord for Your word- thank you that it changes us and shapes us into who you created us to be.

Thanksgiving is tomorrow and my heart is truly overflowing with gratitude for the blessings the Lord has poured out over the past few months and with humility simply because I don't deserve any of it. I'm so thankful to just truly be thankful, because it has been so so long. I didn't mean for this to become a cheesy "this is what i'm thankful for" post, but it did, sort of, so I'm just going to let it be. I hope everyone has a wonderful thanksgiving!! -lcg-

The Office

2007-11-15T15:08:00.000-08:00

Ok. I hate to conform. But I really do not feel I am conforming. It's just that I am only now discovering this show (a little late). The show would be The Office. I had tried to watch it before, but I always caught it at the really really awkward moments and it just confused me. BUT I actually sat down and watched a whole episode last week and it was hilarious. I absolutely love it. There are moments when I die-out-loud laughing and that's just so great. So now, I can't get enough of it. My favorite part of the whole show are the pranks Jim and Pam pull on Dwight. It's histerical, seriously. You should check it out.

His Truth in Our Hearts

2007-11-11T18:34:00.000-08:00

In my small group, we are reading the book You're God Is Too Safe. It's nothing what I expected, which has been great. One of the chapters we read was titled Saint Pride. The chapter was about pride and humility, but I also picked up something in this chapter that has just stuck with me.

Holiness is TRUTH in the inner parts.

Ok, let me explain how the author (Mark Buchanan) went from pride to truth in the inner parts. Basically he says that one of the manifestations of pride is self-deceit. But we are so "sophisticated" that we talk ourselves into believing whatever we want. Or ignoring whatever we want. He uses David-the man after God's own heart- as an example.

This is right after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba, and then trying to fix it himself, he had her husband killed. I'm just going to quote Buchanan because I love the way he writes this part. "But for a year, David lived a self-imposed exile in a place far from the will of God. He was there because he coudn't be honest with himself. It was a refugee camp outside the presence of God. That's pride's land."

Ok, so I can definitely relate to David on some level here. I hid myself from the world for an entire year. This happened to me last year. Pride-->self-deceit was a serious factor in my life last year. It grabbed hold of my mind and twisted it. It told me I didn't need people or a community. It told me to just blame everyone else. It told me that I had a right to feel sorry for myself. It convinced me to build up my own little walls and stay behind them. BUT-
Praise the Lord!!! He broke down those walls. I have victory in Him.

But let me finish my point here. So the prophet Nathan confronts David after a year. David repents and this is where he writes Psalm 51. The whole chapter is great, but verse 6 says "Behold, You desire truth in the inner being; make me therefore to know wisdom in my inmost heart."

If I just sit and let that resonate- HIS TRUTH in my inmost part. In my heart, where I fall so short so many times every single day. His Truth can move in my heart. It can wash over it. It can change it. HIS TRUTH- that He died for me and I am covered in his blood- in the places that no one else can see but Him. Man, that is amazing. That is life changing.

Surely You desire TRUTH in the inner parts

Just let that phrase stick with you for a little while and see what it can mean for you.

The Writer's Strike

2007-11-09T17:40:00.001-08:00

Even though this strike may mean that I only get 8 episodes of my favorite show this season, I fully support this strike. Everyone is very frustrated, but there is good reason behind this strike. Watch this video and it explains why they are striking. If you are really interested check out unitedhollywood.com. Also thefanunion.com has some really cool ways that fans can take an active role in this strike.

::Glory::

2007-11-02T11:59:00.000-07:00

I was driving home the other day and took this picture. It's what I saw from my rearview mirror. I love this time of day when the sun is setting. Everything is just bathed in golden sunlight. For me, sunlight represents God's glory. So it is just amazing to see everything covered in His glory. "Oh, that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn." (Hosea 6:3) I love that thought. As sure as the dawn, He will come.
I've been just chewing on this one thought all week, trying to figure out what it means to me: the art of losing myself in bringing You praise. It's so beautiful. And I think there are several layers to what it means. But everything lately seems to be coming back to the amazing truth that Christ in me is my hope of Glory(Colossians 1:27). Dying to myself, complete surrender is the key. I am worthless. I am nothing. I am just so messed up. I have nothing to offer. But because Christ dwells in me- this is how I can bring Glory to His name. Bottom line: it's all about God's Glory. Everything. All of it. My life, yours. We were created to bring Him Glory. We are most satisfied when He is glorified in us. How amazing is that. Life seems to be so incredibly complicated when it's really not. " Your Name and Renown are the desires of our hearts." (Isaiah 26:8)

reading list

2007-10-26T13:27:00.000-07:00

i'm trying to decide what i want to read next. i find myself overwhelmed. there are so many things i want to read, but i don't know which to actually pick up. i usually like to read a fiction book along while i am reading a christian non-fiction book. it's just something i started doing a while back. i've got my christian book (the only other word i can think to use would be self-help). i'm reading with my small group right now, but i need a fiction book to go along with it. honestly, i have a lot of reading for my english class right now, and i should not pick up something else, but it is children's lit so those are a pretty easy read.(even though they have bizzare and scandalous meanings--seriously, it's crazy.) i really really want to read stephen king's the dark tower series, but i think i'm too chicken. i've never read any of his books, and i don't really do horror very well, but i heard it has to do with alternate realities and i also know how it ends. usually if you know the ending there is no point in reading it, but the ending is just so mind boggling that i really want to. but it's a seven book series. then there is the time-traveler's wife. i love time travel so it just sounds like a lot of fun. i've also heard the alchemist is really good. and people rave about the kite runner. and then there is the author jodi piccoult who someone told me i would really enjoy. she has so many books out. and then of course there is the beloved karen kingsbury. i haven't read her latest in the baxter family series-summer. i really should just buckle down and get that one out of the way. they are so great you can finish them in a few days. and i haven't read francine river's leota's garden, and someone told me it has some history in it which i love so there's that. then c.s. lewis wrote a space trilogy!! i know!! i really want to read this, but i can only find the third book of the series. and the other night at small groups we were talking about this other book that sounds so good, but i can't even remember what it is called right now. so, you see, i just have so many on my list, which one do i pick?!?! well. this probably was a little boring to read. sorry. maybe one day i'll write all about the scandalous fairy tales i'm reading about in my english class to make up for this post. hope everyone has a great weekend!! -lcg-

californ.i.a.

2007-10-25T15:14:00.000-07:00

so this post is quick and short because i have a test tom and need to study, but i've been watching the news the past couple of days. guys. please lift up the people of california in your prayers, if you already aren't. i watch the news and my heart breaks for these people. pray that these fires can be put out and stop spreading. pray for comfort to those who are hurting over losses. this afternoon i saw there are ten deaths so far. i know there are many others across the world suffering, but these people in particular have just been on my heart yesterday and today. most of all, let us take heart that God is sovereign and has purpose in everything. ask and pray how can He be glorified in this situation. thanks for listening. from Him, through Him, and to Him are all things. to Him be the Glory forevermore.

LSwho?

2007-10-20T16:42:00.000-07:00

oh my goodness. i'm so nervous. i'm believing that we can do it. War Eagle!!!

Follow Up: The Mysterious Ticking Noise In Person

2007-10-17T13:01:00.001-07:00

Ok so this is just a follow up to yesterday's video post. This video is my little brother and his friends impersonating the original one. It's pretty funny- just a bunch of of 15 year old boys being silly. Ha Ha Ha. too funny.

The Mysterious Ticking Noise

2007-10-16T12:45:00.001-07:00

I'm sorry I keep posting videos, but they are a great source of laughter, and I love to laugh. If you are a Harry Potter fan, this is hilarious. If you are not, well I'm not sure. Maybe you'll find it funny, I hope so. I love it!!!

Feeling Defeat--And Back Again.

2007-10-11T21:35:00.001-07:00

I really hate being a girl sometimes. Within the past two hours I went from feeling like I can change the world to a feeling of just complete defeat. Sometimes I let things get to me, when I just definitely should not. Let me see here. Let's go back a bit. I'm just coming back into who I am if that makes sense at all. For the past two years, I completely shut my heart and soul to everyone and everything, except maybe school(sad). I really thought I had become a completely new person. Someone who didn't really like people. Someone who could really care less. Someone who doesn't want to be involved. Someone who could ignore that I was really dying inside. What happened? The past two years I have just felt so utterly alone. So alone. Even people who love me didn't know what was going on. The second they started to try to figure out what was going on with me, I would just burst into tears, so everyone just left me alone. I did my own thing. I liked it. I had actually convinced myself I didn't need people. Seriously. So anyways, I knew. Deep down I knew this wasn't me. But I didn't think I could do anything. I couldn't commit to anything because of my head, I thought. Sorry can't do it. But this summer I knew. I knew I couldn't not care much longer. It was like my heart was broken into pieces but I refused to feel it. I just built a wall around it so I didn't feel it aching. So this summer, I asked the Lord to break my heart. Break the walls. I knew it would hurt. Bad. But I had to trust Him. And He has been so beyond faithful. Everything I do, anything that I invest He just gives back tenfold. But finding my way back has been hard and interesting. And tonight was hard. I felt like I flashed back. I sometimes get really passionate about things. But then I get my feelings hurt really easily too. What is that? It drives me crazy! I just hate when I do things and then I'm like, really because I thought I had outgrown this. I guess thats it. But back to what I was talking about- coming back to my old self. It's so good to have my heart open again. It's so good to trust Him. It's so good that the status of my head does not determine how I am doing (which by the way is not doing so great, so if you would like to pray for that, that would be awesome). It's cool- last week at Encounter we sang a song that said something I can't remember exactly along the lines of I was dying, now I'm living!! That is just so where I am. It's so great to be alive again. To be alive for Him. I can't wait to see what He has in store for me next, because I have no clue. He is good. He is faithful. ALWAYS.

Vision of You

2007-10-09T12:26:00.000-07:00

The new Shane and Shane CD is amazing. These guys came to Auburn about a month ago and it was such a blessing to hear them live. The first song on the CD is called "Vision of You". This song just pulls at my heart. The past 3 or so years of my life a constant prayer has been Lord mold me and shape me into the woman You have created me to be. Reveal to me my identity in You. Refine me. Pull out the characteristics you have already instilled in me. It's something I'm constantly asking the Lord to do. And then I heard this song. They have captured my exact thoughts and feelings and desires so beautifully in this song. I love it so much. I play it every morning on my way to school. It's just such a real and honest yet beautiful prayer to the Father. So go buy the CD. It's so wonderful. For now I just want to share the words to this song with you.

Awaken what’s inside of me
Tune my heart to all You are in me
Even though You’re here God come
And may the vision of You
Be the death of me
And even though You’ve given everything
Jesus come

Priceless

2007-10-07T12:11:00.001-07:00

gotta love it.

Go Gators and War Eagle!!!!!!

2007-10-06T17:31:00.000-07:00

Update: I'm sad, Gators lost. Thats ok. I think we might can still take LSU. I guess we will find out soon enough!

Ok. I know this sounds like an oxymoron, but let me explain. It was one week ago when I, along with everyone in the Auburn in family, was yelling my heart out and believing that a victory was possible for my beloved Auburn Tigers. And oh how sweet that victory was. No words can begin to describe it. It was freaking awesome. Ok so tonight, LSU v. Florida. Guys. If Florida beats LSU tonight everyone will have 1 SEC loss. If we beat Florida and Florida beats LSU we can totally take them. I'm so excited. So as I cheer for the Gators tonight, really I'm just cheering for my AU Tigers in a round-about way:). Yay, Gators are up 3-0. We can do it!!! I believe in Auburn and LOVE it!!!!

Procrastination At Its Best

2007-10-03T17:17:00.000-07:00

So, here I am. With a test in 14 hours and a total study time of 1 hour so far. But oh how I love to do anything but study. So I thought I'd post. I found another commerical that I love that I really want to post, but I've posted videos quite a bit lately, so maybe later. For now, I am procrastinating. I really have wanted to sit down and write whats been going on in my heart. Jesus is so good. It feels so good to say that, because I haven't truly felt that in my heart in a while, but it's back, and it's good. But for now I thought I would spill about a couple of random things. First, I have to tell you that I cannot watch the news these days without crying or becoming extremely angry. I watch the news getting ready in the morning and then when I get home from class for a while as well. I'm slightly scared to delve into politics on my little blog here simply because I have no idea who might read it and I don't want anyone to jump down my throat, but then again, there are so many misconceptions being put out there and it is driving me CRAZY so much so that I want to write about it so that people can hear the other side of the story and actually come to a good conclusion. Ahh, we will see I guess. I'm going to give it some more thought before I write some stuff down. Anyways second thought- LOST. I swear I talk about it in like every single post, but only because of my incredible--hmm what's the word I'm looking for here?-- devotion (there we go :)) to the show. It's so hard to not read the spoilers. I was going to try and go spoiler free in season 4 but I'm afraid that's impossible now. Most of what I've read is just rumor or conjecture or pictures from the set, but its oh so good and I cannot wait until Feb. 6, 2008!!! Ok, third, to fufill my LOST void, I've tried to find some other shows to fill the week. I've been watching Chuck. I like it. It's got CIA and NSA with a comedic twist, so it's fun. I've been watching Journeyman. I can't decided if I like this show or not. And the other show I've started to watch is Gossip Girl. I feel like such a loser saying that I actually like it, but I love it. I like to think of it as my guilty pleasure. Someone else told me it was their guilty pleasure too. I feel like a silly teenager again watching it, but it's still so good! I don't know what it is, but it's great. And I know, you are thinking, dang girl! You watch a ton of tv. I've decided that I blame my tv addiction to my year off from school. I think thats pretty legit. Maybe :) oh well. So Gossip Girl comes on at 8 and then I need to get in bed by 10 (my head has been really bad lately) so I'm guessing I'm waking up at the crack of dawn to study for my test at 9:30. I have no one to blame but myself. Let's just say for today I'm the master procrastinator. Hope this post finds everyone well.
XOXO
Gossip Girl ;)

Lost UK promo video

2007-09-25T13:25:00.001-07:00

I thought I would post this promo video for LOST. It was for the UK before season 1 even began. I absolutely love it and I can't quite explain why. Hope you enjoy :)

Mickey D's and the Cha Cha Slide

2007-09-16T19:37:00.001-07:00

People. This commercial is hilarious. I saw it on tv tonight and had to share it. If you ever danced to the cha cha slide in high school you will crack up. Even if you didn't it's still pretty funny. Watch and enjoy! :)

9.11.

2007-09-11T14:58:00.000-07:00

I wasn't going to write anything today, and I really should be studying, but I turned on the news this morning and I was so incredibly moved by what I saw that I changed my mind and decided to share a bit of my heart for this country. I don't know if any of you saw it, but this morning at Ground Zero they had a ceremony where they were reading out all the names of those lost 6 years ago today. There were so many people, all in black or gray. Brothers and sisters, sons and daughters, husbands and wives. All who had lost a loved one that tragic Tuesday. And it was raining there this morning. Not torrential rain or anything, but it was just drizzling, as if the heavens were mourning along with everyone else. After watching a minute or two of this I just started to cry. You forget how horrific that day was. How much it changed our lives. I was in the 10th grade when it happened and I remember for the first time ever in my life, I went to sleep afraid of what might happen next. Of course now I refuse to be afraid. I refuse to give those awful terrorists the pleasure of thinking that they won. And it makes me sick to my stomach that they release videos every year on this day. But that's not my point. My point is one that they made this morning on tv. After that day, America was united. We all stood together, we were all on the same page. And now, today, we are so far from that. Our country is literally divided right down the middle. And I know that I'm young. And it's so easy to criticize, and what I am actually doing to make a difference, but I'm just writing what's on my heart. In high school my history teacher told us this quote: "America is great because America is good. When America is no longer good, she will no longer be great." I'm so scared that we are losing what makes this country good. I think this is a serious problem that my generation must embrace and think through. We must chose to care instead of chosing to be apathetic like so many people I know that are my age. We must stand up for what we believe in. We must search our hearts and fight for the good. We must find a way to work together so we can make the world a better place. Above all, we must find a way back to the words of our Founding Fathers: one Nation under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

2007-09-10T17:30:00.000-07:00

I just want to tell everyone how much I love Friends. It is one of my absolute favorites. I'm sitting here right now watching it. And I love that even though I have probably seen this episode a countless number of times, I still can sit here and laugh out loud watching it. That is good comedy people. And I love when I meet someone who loves the show just as much as I do. I often encounter situations that deserve a Friends reference, and it is a great thing when you find someone who actually catches the reference. Ok so for example: today in class this girl came in and made an announcement before the GTA started the lecture and she had this awesome accent. And so it reminded me of the episode where Ross gets a job as a professor and he pretends to have a british accent. So I leaned over to Brooke (she's my sister, and yes we have a class together, it's great fun) and said hey remember when Ross.... and we had a good laugh. Ok so I'm breaking this down way to much, but anyways, Friends is great. And kudos to all my fellow Friends fans. Live long and prosper.

I'm with Fred.

2007-09-06T17:18:00.001-07:00

Fred Thompson. If you haven't heard of him, check him out. If you have, give him a chance. He makes me proud of our country and gives me reason to believe that we can make a difference. He would be an excellent leader. He understands the importance of values and family. I'm just so impressed. So click on the link and watch the video and see for yourself what everyone is talking about. www.Fred08.com

I'm bringing sexy back :)

2007-09-04T12:45:00.000-07:00

And today's title can be attributed to..... Justin Timberlake!! haha. i watched his concert last night on HBO. man that boy can dance. i just have to say that he is so freaking hott in that bad boy kind of way. and i must also say that i have stuck by his side for seven years now. i counted last night. SEVEN. yes. you see back when i was in the ninth grade i was obsessed with nsync. this is slightly embarassing to admit to on the world wide web, but it's pretty hilarious so i thought i would share. i was in love with justin. i mean come on, i was 14. and when i say obsessed, i mean i had an nsync tape that i taped every single appearance they had that year of my obsesssion. and i knew all the choreography to their dances. i bought their HBO concert and literally watched it over and over until i knew all of the dances. and i had their posters on my wall. WOW. crazy huh. but yea, 7 years. and last year some friends of mine went to his concert and they told me that i was totally "justified" for think he was hot way back when because he really is and i just recognized it way early. so funny. oh well. atleast now i have a new obsession: the incredible, amazing show LOST. if you don't watch it, do yourself a huge favor and start. it is the most brilliant TV show out there. the writers are genius. ok i'll stop. so this post is pretty much about nonsense. i've started school. woohoo(kidding). actually its not too bad. i had a paper due today, so now that i'm done with that i feel like i've got some time to read whatever i actually want or watch lost over and over or write a post on here. i finally finished the trilogy His Dark Materials so i want to write about that soon!!! so i hope everyone else is good. the days are getting shorter and that makes me sad, but everything else is pretty good here. well i'm going to watch me some of season 3 Lost but no worries, i will try to post again soon! peaceout.

Roots and Wings

2007-08-13T17:46:00.000-07:00

I was watching the movie Sweet Home Alabama last night. I have seen this movie a number of times but I caught a part of conversation I never really understood before. It's when they are in the dog cemetery and she says that she loves New York, but she comes back home and Alabama fits too. Ok, so first I must say that I am from Alabama and as redneck and crazy everyone thinks Alabama is, it actually is quite a lovely place with all it's southern charm. Anyway, a side note. So she says this and then he says "You can't have roots and wings." I started thinking about that. I don't have any wonderful insight to offer here, I just thought it was something interesting to consider. I am at a point in life I guess you could say where I have the opportunity to choose: Roots or Wings. But do you think you can have both? I like to think you can. Roots are important. It's what makes you who you are. It's where you come from. Family and old friends are priceless. But Wings. Wings are important too. I see wings as dreams. I like to dream big. I like to think I can make a difference. I like to think I can change the world. Maybe I'm young and naive. But maybe not. I guess when I am old and gray I can answer the question: What did you choose, Roots or Wings? I'm hoping that my answer will be both.

Exciting News!!

2007-08-08T17:08:00.000-07:00

Wow. I can't help but giggle. I just found out something so possibly exciting!! Of course, my most favorite show in the world, Lost, has rumors spinning everywhere. Even though we don't get any new episodes until February, filming starts this month. According to Michael Aussiello on tvguide.com Kristen Bell is being considered for a role on Lost!!!! If you don't know who Kristen Bell is, then let me fill you in. She is the actress who plays Veronica Mars. Now you may laugh, but Veronica Mars is actually an awesome show. The first two seasons are amazing. CW picked up the show for the third season and then ended it so randomly, but all the same, it was an amazing show. And I love Veronica. I will admit that sometimes I wish I was as cool as Veronica Mars. She kicks butt like no other. Ok well maybe not quite as much as Sydney Bristow, but pretty darn close. Anyway, all that to say, if Kristen Bell were to make it onto Lost, two of my favorite shows coming together(you could say) would be incredible. It would definitely be worth the 8 month wait. Well we are down 2 1/2 so 5 1/2 months left. AHH! What is going to be hard is spoilers will come out because they are filming. To read the spoilers or to not read the spoilers; that is the question! Oh I have some more news. More like info than news. I was watching the Today Show (gotta love it) and apparently there is this number 1-800-FREE-411. This number is 411 withouth the charge. It is paid for by companies whose adds you listen to while you wait for someone to pick up the line. So you wait a little longer, but you save a dollar. I just thought I would pass along that little bit of info. Ok well I'm off to read The Amber Spyglass. I'll have to write about it later. It's from the series His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman. They are pretty darn good. So goodbye for now. Peaceout A-Town.

"That's no moon! That's a space station!"

2007-08-05T18:24:00.000-07:00

Ah, lovely quote. Great movie. Classic. Who doesn't love Star Wars. Anyway, the quote is relevant because I saw the space station the other night!! How cool is that? It passed over Alabama on Wednesday night. My dad heard about it on the TV. So my whole fam (minus the little brother, he was at youth camp) jumped in the car and drove out away from the city so we could see it. And while we were waiting we saw a shooting star, which made it twice as cool. It was crazy. We saw it come from the south along the horizon and it passed right over us. It was pretty bright when it was right over head. It was only there for maybe 2 mintues. I thought it was cool. It was a fun little famjam. I remember being really little and we got up at like 4am to see some comet. It was so cool. And then we drove into town at like 6 and got krispy kreme doughnuts. Ah memories. It was a really long time ago because my sister doesn't remember and she's only two years younger than me. Anyway, all that to say, the stars fascinate me. They are so magical, so beautiful. It's crazy to look up at the sky and think that some of the stars we see could have burned out years ago, but it's so far away that we are still seeing the light that came from them. Oh well, so now you know about my fascination with stars. I could just look up at them all night long. Wow, sometimes I'm such a cheeseball. Ok I'm gone, thats all for today. Until next time, WORD.

2007-07-28T08:58:00.000-07:00

There is a lot on my heart right now and I'm not quite sure where to jump in. God is stirring my heart, which is incredible. It's definitley an answered prayer. But in this stirring, I've become so aware of how unworthy I am. I have nothing at all to offer to the Father. Big Daddy Weave has a song and the lyrics say my righteousness is like filthy rags. That is right where I am. And then I still fall back into the mindset of I deserve everything I have. Poor, pitiful little me, with such a hard life. It's so easy to be bitter and cynical. I've spent the past year doing it. Why is it so easy to just be mad at everyone and everything. I hate that it is so easy for me to fall back into that mindset. I'm asking the Lord to pull me out, peel back the layers I've built around my heart. I like to think of Eustice in the Narnia books. It's going to hurt. It already hurts. I feel like my heart is so raw, and yet there is still so many walls around it. Some of them I think I put up daily. Maybe like a defense mechanism. A way to deal with everything. And I mean yes, my life has been really hard the past couple of years. But everyone goes through hard times. I regret so many things, so many things I said, so many ways I presented myself. BUT thats why Christ is so beautiful. His blood covers up all of that. He pours His grace out all over me. Praise the Lord for His mercy and grace. Can you imagine our world without it? Wow I really just poured my heart out. I haven't done that in a really long time. But I think that vulnerability is a good thing. A scary thing, but a good thing. And that's all that I'll share for today. Thank you Father, for your incredible unfailing love. "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." -lcg-

So much to say

2007-07-25T11:44:00.000-07:00

Remember the dmb song so much to say. good song. ok but i really do have so much to say. I can't decide what I should talk about. First, I should just say that I suck at closing when it comes to writing. I noticed it in reading back over some posts. I just can't get the hang of rounding out all of my thoughts. I'm sad that I let this drop off for a while. But here I am so. Ok so lets see. Can I just say that J.K. Rowling is incredible. oh my the book was amazing. so wonderful. so much better. so not what I was expecting. oh i loved it. I have a few lingering questions though. I might wait and post those in a few days though. Some people may not be through with the book yet and I do not want to be responsible for spoiling anything for anyone. Ok second thing. Lost. Ah, my obsession. But anyways Comic-Con is tomorow! yay!! Of course nothing will top last years Rachel Blake appearance, but Damon Lindeloff and Carlton Cuse are supposed to break "Radio Silence". Ahh. That show is so brilliant!!! Now lets see. I can't exactly remember what else I was going to write about. So this post wasn't too deep or too witty. Maybe I'll have to work my way back into it. Oh I know what I was going to say. The Emmy's. Ok Lost did get snubbed, no best drama or best actor, but as doc arzt on tailsection was saying, we did get some great nominations. So hats off to everyone who works so hard on that show. Your work is greatly appreciated. So here I am, at the end of today's post and once again and I suck at closing. So I will quote the lovely desmonde from lost and simply say "The End!".

Long Time No Post

2007-07-24T17:56:00.000-07:00

I have not posted in a super long time. I highly doubt that people check this anymore, but people maybe come upon it by happenstance(is that how you spell it?) or randomness or people from Lost websites (shout out to darkufo.blogspot.com!!). My fingers have been itching to write a little lately and this is a good outlet for me I think. I think doing this helps me gather my thoughts and put them into words which will be useful if I ever do become a writer (sigh, it's a dream, but hey why not dream big, right??). I actually couldn't figure out for the longest time how to log back in on this thing because they changed some things. Oh well, I digress. I was looking over some old posts. Wow the Lord has led me through some mountains and some valleys the past two years. Ok, mostly valleys, wilderness, desert. "But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there. I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope." I must remember that He is faithful. He is ALWAYS faithful. I think thats a good note to end on for today I think. So, peaceout for now.
-lcg-

Perserverance

2006-12-03T19:33:00.000-08:00

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus....But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body."

Glory

2006-11-06T17:47:00.000-08:00

It's hard to believe that I've had this puppy a little over a year now. wow- so much has changed in just a year. but at the same time alot of things are the same. I don't ever update this regularly anymore so anyone who ends up reading this will probably just be a completely random thing. My head is still bad. It still hurts all the time 24/7 non stop which is annoying to say the least. the severity of the pain has decreased though, so i have that to be thankful for. i have also just figured out i go through spells. sometimes i'm making it and somedays i don't think i will make it at all. the past week has been bad. i get really depressed when my head gets really bad like this. i just cry at the smallest things, which makes my head even worse and thus the vicous cycle.

Today on the concourse there were people who were stopping and asking people if they could pray for something. the guy stopped me and asked if he could pray for anything for me. and i said yea- actually there is. he kept praying and saying that sickness is not God's will. now this is a sticky subject. there are a whole lot of opinions within the christian community on sickness. i'm not saying that me being sick is what God wants. but at the same time there is reason and purpose in everything. i know in heaven i will never feel any type of pain, but here, on this earth, in a fallen world, well- bad things happen. sickness is part of a broken, fallen, hurting world. I know that the Lord is sovereign in everything. EVERYTHING. good and bad. everything. there is purpose in my sickness. i have to believe that. will i ever be better? i don't know. but i do know this. all things work to ultimately glorfiy His name and His kingdom. the big picture. we loose sight of the big picture. i am nothing compared to the big picture. and if the Lord chooses to heal me in this life, in this world- it will be at a moment when He can be the most glorified. now i know that many of you who read this will disagree. but thats ok. i know few people who know what it feels like to be sick everyday. to wake up with it waiting for you and to go to sleep and have it hanging over you. but these people have encouraged me. they know God is sovereign. and they give meaning to perserverance.

i don't even know if all of that flows together and makes sense, but i hope it does. the bottom line in everything is remember the big picture. His big picture. His Glory. and i have a hard time swallowing that, i'm not going to lie. i become so focused on myself and my problems and aches and pains and complaints. but thats wrong. its all about Him. God I give you all the glory- in every situation in my life. i don't have much. actually alot of the time i feel like i have nothing. but that doesnt matter. I just give you all the glory...."Glory, glory, all the glory- Glory to Your name. From You is everything. Through You I can live again. To You be all glory forevermore".

oh my gosh!!

2006-10-06T19:27:00.000-07:00

wow, time goes by so quickly!! so much has happened. i really want to write about it and i will when i finally have time to gather all of my thoughts. i mean you know being a girl and all i'm all over the place :) matt's message the other night about "the heart of a woman" was so great. i loved it. if you don't know what i am talking about check it out at gracecampus.net and look for the podcast. so more to come. now i must finish why i originally got online....to figure out next semesters scheduele!! oh but quick head update- it's been hard, i'm not gonna lie, but im still here- thats got to count for something right?? special thanks to all who still check this and all of your continued prayers!!! much love.

I'm Back

2006-08-31T13:44:00.000-07:00

So apparently the thing to say to me when you see me is- "you're back!!". it's kind of funny. i'm not kid'ding like tons of people see me on the concourse and are like oh my gosh you are back. and then the next question is "Are you gonna stay ?" so let's see- Yes, I am back. Am I gonna stay? As of right now I'm hoping to- its so hard. i mean duh all of you know this bc you are either still in school or recently out. but its so hard. I am so tired from doing so much. Well, not much just going to classes. Its going to take a while to build up to it. and I've been completely unsocial, only because when im not at school im studying or resting. So if you haven't seen me it does not mean you are not loved by me- it just means i'm very overwhelmed and i need some more time of nothingness before i can make the switch to being "social" again. Classes are hard too. And i feel so old. some of these freshmen look soooo young. But i'm in a much better place now, than i was this time last year. even if you ask me i might say no, but i am. And several of you have seen that and told me that you see it, which is encouraging. I see dr. slaughter next week. Maybe he'll change something- since school has started my head has been really bad. like lock me up in a dark room and dont bother me bad. but, it's going to get better. i knew this would be hard. i'm going to end this post because i need to go study. i don't like the point that i am ending with, but i don't want to sit here and think of a good way to end. and thus- awkward ending. goodbye for now.

my oh my

2006-08-24T15:18:00.000-07:00

so much to do, so little time! HA! actually I'm probably the least busiest person I know, but I'm used to-hmmm- lets say little activity in a day. MWF are killer. I only have 2 classes at 12 and 2, but by the time I get home I'm exhausted. And I'm in the bed by 10:30. But I'm up here doing the whole school thing. I haven't been able to hang out too much, but it will get better as time goes by and there will be room for hang out time. i've got so much work to do, yet i find myself sitting here on the computer wasting time. i got the food allergy tests back. i'm allergic to wheat, rice, corn, tomatoes, and peanuts. but they rate it on a scale 1 to 5 and all of them measured about 1/2. but i knew there was a reason i had always hated tomatoes. so no major finds. i go see dr. slaughter on sept. 6 which is soon, which is good. My head has done ok. Some days are good, and some are bad, but atleast there are good days, right?? My birthday was a really good day, so thanks to all who contributed to making it such a wonderful day. thats all for now- peaceout people. much love.

my new little buddy

2006-08-17T15:25:00.000-07:00

check out the bear my mom and sister got me. how appropriate is he!!! he even has the ice bags. we were so meant to be friends.

DeLorean

2006-08-15T06:32:00.000-07:00

Just had to say that i totally misspelled DeLorean the other day. But its ok, i know now. Had to clear that up just simply its a classic, and you can't misspell classics.

thoughts for the day

2006-08-13T18:43:00.000-07:00

Bid day- craziness everywhere!!!! yay for my precious lil sis (my real sister, not the sorority kind of lil sis). She went KD!!! so yay for KD and all their new KD Ladies. I dropped my parents off at the president's lawn so they didn't have to park and walk. i really wanted to be there but standing outside in the middle of the afternoon = mucho bad headache. so i stayed here with barry (my lil bro) while he built us a lovely bookcase for all of my many unfinished books. but i couldn't believe the amount of boys who just came to watch today. it made me laugh. ok, can i just make a complaint- two of my classes still say staff!! so frustrating. yea so I'm watching Back to the Future right now. its called dvd-tv on amc- they put facts up about the movie on the bottom of the screen all through the movie. kind of like pop-up video. lots of fun. classic movie. i saw a dolorian on the interstate this week. i was psyched- i'd never seen one in real life before. yes well, no deep and meaningful post for tonight- instead its just my crazy thoughts that only i seem to find funny. all good. much love. hasta lavista baby.

say what

2006-08-08T20:17:00.000-07:00

so i've been in auburn the past few days. very interesting to be back. even though i'm not back for good. taking it in doses- you know? i feel like everyone has grown up while i have been away. not like they are completely different people- you will always have your core that makes you who you are. but everyone has grown and changed in certain places. it's cool to see. i hate that i wasn't there for the growing and changing part, but it just means i've got a lot to catch up on. and visa versa. i'm still the same old christy, but my heart has changed some. it's good. i didn't really realize how much it's changed until being up here talking to different people. it's hard because i feel like there are so many people that i love and care about, but there is so much to catch up- i begin to wonder will i ever get there. because you can't go back. i would love to have all the same relationships that i had two years ago, but thats impossible. i think i'm making this sound negative and poor pitiful me. but i don't mean it that way. i'm just stating the truth. and i'm excited. so excited. but like i said before, i have to go slow. i HAVE to. no more staying after encounter until midnight talking to everyone. no more being one of the last to leave. no more rationalizing it because "its such a great conversation". I have to get my sleep, keep the same scheduele or my head will totally freak out on me. even like minor weekend trips can put me in the bed for days. but one cool thing is that i know what it means to be self-disciplined. hopefully it will pay off in other areas of my life. i'm turning 20 in a couple of weeks. its insane. sometimes i still feel like i'm in the 8th grade and at other times i feel like i'm 30. but i'm coming to a good place. i am in a good place- more so mentally than physically. atleast i feel like i am. sometimes i still act stupid and fall back into that person that i would be when i was scared and insecure, but i'm working on it. atleast i realize it. you know the movie "Kate and Leopold". They are in the carriage outside Central Park and she looks at him and says "Are you for real??". That has just stuck with me. I want to be real. I want to be vulnerable. I want to be brave. I want to be humble. I want to be kind. I want to be loyal. I'm all over the board a bit but those things are important to me right now. I'm kind of rambling but at the same time it's rambling from my heart. Being here in auburn just for the past few days the Lord has just revealed to me, yet again, how incredibly faithful He is. He is constantly working in me, even when i feel so far away. On the flip side of all of that, i have not been goofy or silly in a while. and that's important too. but i'm not too worried. i know i will be laughing often around all of you crazy people. but whats exciting is that i'm also around people. people who love the Lord with every fiber in their being. I've missed being around that. Constantly being sharpened. It's all about balance. you could say that and apply to pretty much anything in life. but right now thats really what i'm doing. i'm learning to balance. what's awesome is that even if i fall, i know Jesus is right there by my side. He is sovereign. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans that give you a hope and a future." oh how comforting those words are to me these days!!! much love to all you people.
-cg-

update part deux

2006-08-06T09:35:00.000-07:00

so i went to the allergy doctor on friday. his name was dr. borg. as i have written before, i'm now a trekie, so of course- dr. borg was so funny to me. the borg is one of the horrible enemies of the s tar trek enterprise and was first introduced to them by Que. Anyways- we got me tested for food allergies. something someone mentioned and we figured it was worth a shot. i'll get the results back in about two weeks. interesting, i know. i mean food allergies, who would have thought. oh well. i've gotta go. actually i'm headed to auburn this afternoon. whoo hoo. see you people sometime soon.

Head Update

2006-07-25T09:07:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted how my head is doing for a while, so I thought I would give everyone an update. I've been I guess good and bad all at the same time. The month of May was great. I saw my doctor at the beginning of June and he took me down on my dosage of one of my meds. I called them just last week and asked if I could go back up, simply because I really think that could be one reason why I haven't been as good.

I coming back to school. Duh. I've said that a million times now. I guess I should say I haven't changed my mind and I'm still Auburn bound for the fall. I was in Auburn yesterday (just a quick trip to the apartment) with my parents and it was fun to just be in town.

I'm excited about my living arrangements too. Courtney Powell is living with me as well as my sister. Courtney is seriously one of the sweetest people I know. I'm excited about living with Brooke (my sis). She is so great and it will be her freshmen year, so it will be fun to watch her just finding and figuring everything out. And if I should get really bad (my head), I have her there, which is nice. And home is only 35 mintues away (yep, 35 from the auburn exit to my driveway, pretty good huh?) I'm scared, but I was talking to a friend the other day and told her i was scared and she told me that she was scared too and she had already been there for 2 years. Made me laugh but also was good to hear.

I've just got to be super disciplined and not try to do too much. I still can't do a full day. We went to gatlinburg a couple of weeks ago and i took pain meds everyday there and for about a week after- it was just too much. so basically i have to go slow. take my time. and realize i don't have to be the social butterfly i once was. And I go back to the doctor on sept. 6 - which is comforting for me to know.

I've also realized that I can't wait around to feel GREAT-you know. because i mean who ever really feels great? somedays are great, but everyone has days where you just simply don't want to get out of bed. so that revelation has been encouraging.

Again, thanks to everyone who has prayed for me and encouraged me. I honestly don't know how I would have gotten to this place without all of your love and support. so basically, you guys rock, and don't ever forget that!! MUCH love
-cg-

freedom

2006-07-19T16:41:00.000-07:00

Last night I was reading through Galations. The last half of verse 6 in chapter 5 just really stood out to me. "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." Wow. Chapter 5 talks alot about freedom and living in the Spirit. The Lord has had me parked there for a while. We are given freedom in Christ. But at the same time it takes discipline. That I am learning too. Constant surrender. Dying to my flesh daily. "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." I really like Galations because it talks alot about the law and how Christ fufilled the law. The other day this quote came to me from Legally Blonde- i know just hear me out. In one of her classes her professor writes on the board- the law is reason free from passion. and we then find out in the movie that those words were written by aristotle. and then i started thinking about the law in the old testament and how Christ fufilled the law. the old testament, in a way, could be considered reason free from passion. which means the new testament is Jesus coming in with passion and fulfilling the law. how cool is that? behold the power of love. Just something to think about. If you read galations my thoughts might make some kind of sense. So for now that's all. Let's walk in step with the Spirit so that we can experience His freedom, His abundant life that he has promised to us!!!

bloody pirates!!

2006-07-09T19:12:00.000-07:00

arrrgh! keep to the code, matie!! .....

oh yes. who doesn't love captain jack sparrow?!?! yes i'm in the pirate mood. just saw the new movie. "dead man's chest". i highly recomended it. a bit gruesom, but funny, adventurous, a love story, action packed, sit on the edge of your seat, bite your nails.....just great. my prediction for the third movie's title-- "Return of the Black Pearl". think about it, the last movie in a trilogy- Return of the Jedi, Return of the King....

yes well check out the trailer....

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1808556813/trailer

who doesn't love a pirate??

LYMON

2006-07-08T11:16:00.000-07:00

ok, so if you are feeling a little crazy, check out this website-->

http://www.sublymonal.com/

"your mind is being refreshed"

its , hmm lets say, very different. you may have seen commercials for this website on tv. this website address was first released as an "in game" website for "the lost experience" game. if you type in the words that flash it will take you to different things. typing in other words will bring you a definition from wikipedia. if you type in pyramids it will take you to a dj dan podcast. all of this requires lots more of explanations. i promise ill post explaining more later. even if you don't like the tv show lost, still check out this website. its pretty crazy. thats all for now.
-cg-

word

2006-07-07T19:03:00.000-07:00

(*disclaimer-- complete randomness makes up this post. possibly funny, but nothing of significant information about me. but if you have some time to kill i hope you kill some of it by reading my wonderful words.)

word. yes. thats my new favorite word. actually its not new. its really old. i said it all the time in highschool. i guess i "refound" it. i picked it up from being around jenny. gotta love her. in class she would show the combination and then go "word? word!" its so great. i mean it can be used as a greeting, or simply agreeing, or even as a goodbye!! word. ok so i felt like writing but i really had nothing specific to say. so let's see where this goes.

i just got done watching the series finale of star trek: tng. haha oh yea- next generation with captain jean-luc picard. ok so let me explain here. as we all know the head keeps me kind of limited as far as activities per day is concerned. still can't do a full day, but earlier in the spring i watched lots of tv- i like to blame the head for this. so anyways, afternoon from like 1 to 4 there is nothing on tv. nothing i tell you. you may argue, but in my opinion nothing. so my parents love star trek (ntg that is). i remember them watching it when i was like tiny. like 3 or 4 years old. if you've ever seen it there is a character named geordi. he is blind but he had this special vision thing that helps him see. he actually sees better than the normal human being, but thats just silly details, nothing you guys are interested in. but back to the story, my sister and i (at age 3/4, brooke was like 2 or 3) anyways we would get the hairbands we would wear and put them over our eyes and pretend to be geordi. classic, i wish we had a pic.

ok so anyways, the parental units love it, so mom suggested for the afternoon why don't you watch star trek. i scoffed at the suggestion but one day i flipped across it and that particular episode had some travel in it. ( ANYTHING with time travel interests me. i think i've written that on here before). so i started watching. before long i knew all the characters names, and now i'm at the point to where the shows that come on in the afternoon, i've seen a good third of them. yes so i guess we could said i'm an official trekie. ahh!!! sometimes it's just good fun to embrace the inner dork within.

yes well, like i said, nothing specific. so now the movie "what a girl wants" is on. i love how these cheesy movies set up the girl and she magically meets prince charming. SO non-realistic. i think the best non-realistic situation movie is "walk to remember". oh buddy did i bawl like a baby the first time i saw that one!! and then as i was bawling good old laura g says "oh my gosh!! this is sooo cheesy!" haha fun times. good memories.

ok well i've typed alot already. this is probably one of those posts that you get on, see i have a new post, you start to read, realize it has nothing of importance in it, skim to the bottom and then you feel like what the heck are they talking about?!?! oh well . its always fun to me to just put my random, meaningless thoughts together. ok they aren't meaningless, maybe a better word would be trivial.

and i'm having serious lost withdrawls!!! no new episodes until the end of september!!! atleast i've got good old rachel blake to give something until then. i'll have to write another post about her along with persephone, speaker, hanso, and all the other lovely characters belonging to the interactive game for Lost this summer!!! ok thats all i want to share for now. its time for the new favorite word to say goodbye!!

-WORD-

answer

2006-06-23T10:29:00.000-07:00

One day at a time. "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." I tend to forget this very often. The Lord was so good. I was so overwhelmed and couldn't understand. But then I heard His voice- Be still. Rest in who I am. and then everything seemed not so scary. Just REST IN ME.

the head

2006-06-19T10:53:00.000-07:00

so my head hasn't been so great these past few weeks. i think i just have good spells and bad spells. I start school in two months. well not just me everyone at auburn. but i'm very nervous about it. i keep thinking about it and get really freaked out. i know it is not of the Lord, but its just the evil one trying to keep me stuck in a place of fear. if you have any encouraging words, please share. i would love to hear them. i hope everyone is having a great summer. it's been so beautiful here in the gump!! miss you all and much love.
-cg-

unwritten

2006-06-18T17:01:00.000-07:00

ok. i love this song. i can't get it out of my head. it's so great. i love the lyrics. it makes me feel like i can change the world. i'm serious. the sky is the limit. let me share, see how it makes you feel:

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

I break tradition, sometimes my tries are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with eyes wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

that's all for now. peace out people. much love.

change for the blogging world, again.

2006-06-09T07:23:00.000-07:00

Ok, so if you have not read my post "how to deal" this won't make any sense, so go read that first then come back here. ok good so here is the deal. i'm really learning about boundaries and so obviously i thought just not putting anything up here was good. well i think i was right to an extent, but then i went up to encounter and i had a couple of people say - how are you doing, we are praying for you and trying to keep up with your blog. so whats going on in my heart, will stay in my heart, but whats going on with my head i will continue to share so that all of you can know and will and continue to pray for me.

I have been so blessed to be put into a community that is so consistent in prayer for others. It's funny because I really haven't spent that much time in Auburn (6 months freshman yr and 2 months last year), but all of you I admire and just feel so loved that so many people care. I can't wait to actually get back up there. Tenative plan- i'm gonna be back in the fall. only 3 classes so hopefully i can do well. the hard part is going to be taking care of my head. Please pray that the Lord will give me discernment as to yes go and do this or no, you can't do that, you have to rest.

Last night at encounter my head was KILLING me. If you ever notice my face just turns bright red when its really bad. But anyways, i was seeing everyone and i felt horrible and my response was- i'm not that great.

BUT- here is the cool thing. I have been doing so much better. the month of may was really good. my head is always still hurting but i can do a few things and distract myself. I'm in the process of learning when i can push and when i need to stay home and rest. I saw my doctor again this past week. He took me down on one of the dosages of my meds and he gave me a new muscle relaxer. Before i took baclofen and i would take it 3 times a day, and used it like a prevenative. Well after a while meds seem to, well you seem to build a bit of tolerance. So anyway- he switched me to zanaflex. and it knocks me out. i mean out. so i'm hoping i can build up a tolerance against the sleepiness because the med itself seems to be working.

The past week has been bumpy, the month before that, good. Please keep me in your prayers. Pray that he will continue to heal me, continue to show me areas that are keeping me from that, and for courage and perserverance. I know there is reason in all of it. I can't wait to see if i do get to find out eventually. Thank you so much "checking in" and thank you again for your prayers. much love.

-christy g

thoughts...

2006-06-06T20:28:00.000-07:00

My fingers are itching as i read everyone else's blog. I miss auburn (yay- thats a good thing, for a while i didn't want to come back). but really i just want to praise the Father. He has been so good. Christ brings us LIFE!! and not just life, but a full and abundant life. i feel so much older than i really am. that probably sounds a little off. but this gift of time has just been so interesting. i love learning about myself. i love learning what He has made me passionate about. i love that He has brought things to light of my flesh and that i can work at it and peel it away. i love the story in Chronicles of Narnia when eustice becomes a dragon and then how Aslan pulls him out. If you don't know what I am talking about find the story (Voyage of the Dawn Treader). so many good parallels. I'm babbling, but i tend to do that. i guess that is part of what makes methe one and only christy g :)

LOST

2006-05-31T17:52:00.000-07:00

I have to report that i am very sad. it's almost 8pm on wednesday night and there is no more new "Lost" episodes. They are starting over with season 2 this summer starting tonight. however there is a interactive game going on called the "lost experience" where we will get clues during the episodes this summer. Anyone who knows me, knows how much i love lost. the writing is brilliant. brilliant i tell you!! if you haven't jumped on the bandwagon yet, you get another chance this summer!! i'm not kidding. it's almost addicting. atleast for me anyways. so season finale was last week and -WOW- what a crazy night!!! there was an hour left and i had absolutley no idea what was going to happen!!! i can't wait until september to see what happens- where the heck they take jack, kate, and sawyer. how hurley gets back across the island by himself. what happens with sayid, jin, and sun. if locke, eko, and desmond at are alive (i think they are....rumor has it desmond could be a cast regular next season), what the heck happened with the violet sky and noise and such. wow so many cliff hangers. and most importantly- was that really jack's twin at the end?!?! i'm telling my theory is that its his twin. oh yea and i read the book that they released by a fictional author who died in tragic plane crash on oceanic flight 815 "bad twin". its pretty darn good. ok so really i could write pages and pages more about the best tv show ever. but i must go- almost 8 and i gotta get that clue!!! oh yeah- i'm still working on my questions list. i very well may post it. :) peaceout to all.
-cg-

-TRUTH-

2006-05-22T16:17:00.000-07:00

Christ came to set the captive free- no matter what kind of yoke binds them.
He came to bind up the brokenhearted- no matter what broke the heart.
He came to open the eyes of the blind- no matter what veiled their vision.
- Beth Moore

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,

because the LORD has anointed me

to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners,

to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor

and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness

instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the LORD

for the display of his splendor.
They will rebuild the ancient ruins

and restore the places long devastated;

they will renew the ruined cities

that have been devastated for generations."

Isaiah 61:1-4

How To Deal

2006-05-16T10:08:00.000-07:00

there is this movie, how to deal, and i absolutely loved it. everyone i know actually hated it except for laura. we loved it. anyways, i thought the title was appropriate because basically the past two years of my life has been my learning "how to deal".

so i mentioned this earlier but i am learning just alot about alot of things. so in all this learning i have discovered alot about myself. and basically i have decided to not really post how i am doing or whats going on in my heart anymore. who knows i may get on to just write about nonsense, because sometimes i like that sort of thing, but no more than that. it's not that i don't want people to know, but 1- im justing putting all my stuff out there. not everyone deserves to know that. not everyone wants to know that. 2- i have figured out that i just dump all my problems like 2 seconds after i meet someone. or even many of you. and they didn't ask to know, i just went on and on and on. knowing all this information about me could be burdensome for some people, and they didn't ask for that. it kind of reminds me of the movie mean girls where lindsey lohan's character had "word vomit". now hers was just being mean and talking about people. but she couldn't stop it. i start to spill my guts and i just don't stop. i hate that i have put so much about me just out there, but i can't change whats happened, i can only change from here on out. 3- people do get on here and read about how i am doing. and they know. and they care. and thats good. but it hurts me because instead of calling me or emailing me they just get on to check and i get gypped because there is no personal checking on me and i need that.

i don't mean for all of this to come off rude or anything. its just part of me growing up and learning from my mistakes. i know its an acceptance thing. and my mindset was if i put everything out there, that person could turn around run in the other direction or embrace me. and that all comes from the lie that i have believed for so long that i am too much to handle.

i apologize to anyone who feels like i threw all this information at them and you didn't even want to know in the first place. everyone has got their stuff, but its just something you keep to yourself, or as a friendship develops you slowly begin to share.

i guess one good thing out of all of this is that i have learned a valuable lesson. the Lord is showing me things that are keeping me captive.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. " Gal 5:1

So if you really want to know how i am doing, just ask me. it's the best thing for me right now. everyone has been so supportive and i am so grateful for all of the encouragement and prayers.
I am signed up for classes and it looks like i'm 90% sure i'm coming back in the fall. i miss all of you. hopefully i will see some of you at encounter this summer. i feel like i'm saying my goodbyes. i guess i'm just saying my internet goodbyes. but like i said, this is the best thing for me. and i am just learning how to deal. i'll end on this note. i want to live in the reality that Christ is life. i want all of us to live in the reality that Christ is life.

"From Him, through Him, and to Him are all things, to Him be the glory forevemore"

my week

2006-05-12T18:35:00.000-07:00

so right now i'm listening to the fray. i picked their cd up earlier this afternoon. its definitely worth the purchase- so far i love it. ah i digress. so, now the real reason for this post.

God is faithful. so faithful. How can i ever doubt Him? i'll fall into some kind of a funk and i get so mad at God. Last year i remember telling patrick and robin one night that i've never felt so far away from the Lord but at the same time felt so close to Him.

and wow- so much revelation about just me and how i handle friendships and patterns that i fall into and just such negative thinking. the Lord is showing me so much. He is literally remolding me, and at times it hurts so bad. but at times like these i'm so thankful. Last spring i had this total identity crisis. all these questions. who am i? what are my strengths? what makes me, me? why are people friends with me? i felt like i had no idea, like not even a clue, as to who i was. my identity is found in Christ. praise the Lord. but he made me exactly how i am for a purpose. a purpose so much bigger than me. and its been so amazing to have this chance to really look at who i am. to be at the point where i had nothing to offer. nothing. except just my very being. my very existence. and that was it. Jesus pulled me through. i mean like He was dragging me. i didn't want to go any farther.

alot of you may remember about me getting hit by a car. well half way hit. it was december of '04. i was walking across college street on the cross walk. i had just come out of cambridge. anyway when you walk across there are two lanes of traffic and this guy came out of no where. i think he was speeding just to catch that light to turn left onto magnolia. anyway the car brushed/hit me. i mean like my hip knocked off the mirror of the car and there was a dent on my boot where the tire ran over my foot and dirt all along my left leg from the car. i mean crazy. like if i had been like a tenth of a second later and i would have been gone. there were two girls a bit ahead of me. one of them came running up to me and the other one had run off screaming. the second girl came back and said she was sorry she ran but she thought there was going to be blood everywhere. i mean Jesus and his angels had to be completely surrounding me. and after all was said and done alot of people laughed and were like how can you walk into a car? which was fine i mean humor is fine. but the first girl who came over to me walked me on across the rest of the street and sat with me for a few minutes. and then she said something along the lines like obviously Jesus still has something for you here to do.

i tend to mark the start of my "sickness" (i dont know what else to call it) when i went to nashville at the beginning of Jan '05 for new years and passion and i had to go home because my head was so bad. literally my mom drove up from montgomery picked me up and drove back home in one day.

so anyways all of that story just has always been in the back of my mind ever since then. especially when i think what is happening to me. i don't want to do this anymore. and then i hear that He still has something he wants to do with me here.

wow so all of that was totally the Lord because i didn't plan on writing about that. maybe it will offer some encouragement somewhere. Jesus is just that good.

what i did get on here to say (im going to like mucho condense it now) is that i have had a good week. i have had a good week!! guys its been a long time since i have been able to say that.

so at the close of a completely wonderful unexpected week, I give all my praise to the Father. He is so good. All the glory truly belongs to Him and Him alone.

"So it's paramount that you keep the commandments of GOD, your God, walk down the roads he shows you and reverently respect him. GOD is about to bring you into a good land, a land with brooks and rivers, springs and lakes, streams out of the hills and through the valleys. It's a land of wheat and barley, of vines and figs and pomegranates, of olives, oil, and honey. It's land where you'll never go hungry--always food on the table and a roof over your head. It's a land where you'll get iron out of rocks and mine copper from the hills." Dueteronomy 8:6-9

Jesus I am eagerly awaiting the Promised Land you have set out for me. I want the abundant and full life that You have promised.

2006-05-11T18:04:00.000-07:00

"Pain is a part of life, but don't let it blind you"

graduation festivities

2006-05-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

I feel like i'm learning so much these days. i mean ALOT. which is good. always good. anyway i am headed off to trinity(where i went to school). my sister is graduating this year and they have a "senior slide show" so i'm going to that. the crazy thing to me is that i swear it seems like yesterday i was at my senior slide show. ahh and that was two years ago!!! i just can't believe it. i was telling brooke that today was a fun day and i remember it so clearly and then she asked me about graduation. i really don't remember too much from that day. i remember before getting ready, and then a bit of the reception after, but the actual walking up on stage and getting my diploma- its definitley fuzzy. wierd. oh well thats all i really have time to say, but its always fun to reminisce!!
-cg-

leprechaun

2006-05-06T07:26:00.000-07:00

some of you may have heard about this, but its just too crazy to not share. not to mention embarassing for alabama. my sister told me that one of her friends heard about a news story about people seeing a leprechaun in mobile. ebaums has gotten ahold of it. at first i thought it was a joke, but the video report seems to be real one done by a local news station. ok so here's the link:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/leprechaun.html
hope you enjoy while you are having a really good laugh!!

randomness

2006-05-05T12:42:00.000-07:00

ok, so i read this on someone's blog. thought it would be kinda fun. and i'm slightly bored.

IN THE LAST MONTH HAVE YOU
1. Bought something: yes, and i think all of it is from Target
2. Gotten sick? yes (big surprise, i know)
3. Been hugged?: yes
4. Felt stupid?: yes
5. Talked to an ex: does facebook count?
6. Missed someone: yes!!! lots of people :)
7. Danced crazy: yes, of course
8. Gotten your hair done: no
9. Lied: um yes

UNIQUE
1. Nervous habits: i clench my teeth when i'm stressed or angry
2. Are you double jointed?: yes my arm, according to jenny letner, but i dont really know
3. Can you roll your tongue?: nope- did you know that characteristic is genetic though?
4. Can you raise one eyebrow?: no i can't, and i didn't realize that until i just tried
5. Can you cross your eyes?: i can but i havent done that since i was a kid. remember those 3-d books and the image in the pattern- if you cross your eyes then look you can see it
6. Do you make your bed daily?: at home no, but at school yes. strange i know
7. Do you think you are unique?: of course!

HAVE YOU EVER
1. Said "I Love you" and meant it?: i have a theory on saying i love you. when you are younger, you say it, and you mean it at that point in time. and as you get older you realize what you thought was love is so much bigger. but that doesn't mean it wasn't real when you were younger. kind of like there are levels. and the first few levels are real, but your definitition of love was just smaller. i hope that makes sense. so my answer- yes at the time i meant it
2. Given money to a homeless person?: no, i feel kind of stupid to say no, but i just grew up around the mindset that all the homeless people you see on the side of the interstate just want money to go buy more alcohol.

MANNER
1. Do you swear?: no, its not a habit. but lets be honest- i think everyone does every once in a while.
2. Do you ever spit?: no, not just spitting for the heck of it
3. You cook your own food?: some things- i'm still learning
4. You do your own chores?: yes and no- i'm slightly spoiled (but hey, admitting it is the first step, right?)
5. You like beef jerky?: that stuff looks so disgusting
6. You like pepsi or coke?: coke (in my head i was saying coke the way callie says it)
7. You're happy with your hair?: yes but i do wish it would stop getting darker, although i have been told they like the golden blonde more than the white blonde i had in highschool.
8. You own a dog?: yes, maddie, yellow lab. shes so crazy, but i love her to death
9. You spend your money wisely?: eh
10. Do you like to swim?: in the ocean, yes, swimming in a pool is boring to me, i'd rather lay on a float or something
11. When you get bored do you call a friend?: um not so much anymore. i mean i call people, just its not the first thing i do when i get bored.
12. Are you patient?: um yes and no

WHAT DO YOU PREFER
1. flowers or angels?: flowers- daisies or roses
2. gray or black?: black most definitley
3. Color or black and white photos?: just for pictures, color, if you want it to look artistic or whatever, black and white
4. lust or love?: um, love- who would put lust??
5. sunrise or sunset?: both are beautiful- i don't think i can decide between the two
6. M&Ms or Skittles?: skittles
7. rap or rock?: Rock, all rap sounds the same to me
8. staying up late or waking up early?: neither, i like to get my sleep, thank you!

MORE OF WHAT DO YOU PREFER
1. being hot or cold?: Cold
2. Winter or Fall?: fall
3. left or right: left
4. having 10 acquaintances or 2 best friends?: i have a theory- there isn't one person who can be your absolute best friend. you can have people who know your heart, and you can have people who you just love to goof around with. but i have found there isn't any one person who you can share everything in your life with. maybe a husband and a wife. i don't know. ill let you know when i find mine.
5. sunshine or rain?: rain
6. vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? chocolate
7. boys or girls?: boys are fun but you gotta have your girls too

ok so, i definitely did more than just simply answer the question. i guess i just am complicated, but thats ok, i already knew that. atleast now you know a few random things about me :)

a bigger perspective

2006-05-04T11:33:00.000-07:00

"Glory, Glory, All the Glory, Glory to Your Name"

thank you so much to everyone that has reached out to me over the past few weeks. i felt so alone. Praise the Lord- He proved me wrong.

so lately Jesus just keeps telling me- it's all about My Glory. yes He hates that I am in pain, but bottom line, it is all about Him. I keep praying that the Lord will heal me, but last week i realized there are so many amazing people who are never healed, some even die. but it is all because of a bigger plan. I am still praying that the Lord would heal me, but now my prayers also include Lord show me how to live with this. i keep thinking about paul and the thorn in his flesh. this is definitely a thorn in my flesh. but i need to let Jesus show me how i can work through it and let Him be the strongest where i am the weakest.

a couple of weeks ago courtney posted a quote from screwtape letters and i cannot get it out of my head. "not desiring, but still intending"

"From Him, through Him and to Him are all things. to Him be the glory forevermore"

Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Look full in His wonderful face.
And the things of the earth will grow strangley dim
in light of His glory and grace.

pretty in pink

2006-04-27T20:29:00.000-07:00

so im kinda sad. actually rather sad. tonight was the last encounter. and i was too sick to make it. which makes me sad because A- i really do miss encounter worship (lights off, with music blaring so you can't even hear yourself...every ministry is different, i guess i just miss "home") and B i really do miss all of you. and, i'm also sad because i didn't make it the night before for leah and robins surprises. stupid head.

and now, i probably won't see half of the people until next august. so sad. i don't even know what anyone is doing for summer. i've "fallen off the face of the earth" for way to long. hopefully i'll make it to summer encounter. always so wonderful. i love it in the founders chapel. i love the atmosphere.

(random thought- i really hate it when people talk down to me like i'm stupid. guess i just wanted to vent that frustration as well.)

so anyways, my night was spent laying on the couch, ice bags in place, watching pretty in pink. classic. you gotta love it. and- ok- i love duckie. he's so great. i would definitley pick him over blaine, but obviously i didn't write the story. duckie is just too great. he's not scared to be himself. he is quirky and funny. what's not to love??

so, you see, i have been giving myself little "projects" just to keep me busy. one is the piano but that is actually a big project. its getting really challenging, but its really cool. its so cool how this guy has figured out how to teach all the stuff. (ex: to make a major chord to a minor chord move you right thumb down 1 key. to make a major chord into a 7th chord, move your left thumb down two keys) its crazy and hard but really fun.

anyways, my newest projects are number 1 i bought two rose bushes. i'm going to see if i can keep them alive and pretty. rumor has it that growing roses is extremely hard. and number 2 i'm going to make a list of questions about LOST (incase you didn't know my favorite show ever!). i seriously think i can come up with 200 questions. maybe once its finished i will post it so any other fellow losties can go "yeah! what's up with that!". I cheat and get on spoilerfix.com and read about whats to come. it doesn't give away that much. (don't read the rest of this paragraph it you don't want to know anything.) there are four episodes left, including the season finale that is 2 hours long. rumor has it we will see walt again, we will see desmonde again, and there may be possible deaths before the season is out. oh yea, and there will be consequences for crossing "the line". if you just got really mad because you didn't want to know that, well i'm really sorry, i gave a fair warning. i used to have theories but now there are so many questions i have no clue whats going on.

ok i ended up typing more than i intended. one follow up thought. my heart is doing a little bit better since my last post. i'm sure ill share more later. but for now, peaceout a-town.

p.s.

2006-04-21T13:48:00.000-07:00

somehow my profile and links went all the way to the bottom. if anyone knows how to fix it please let me know. i tried to fix the template, i think i messed it up even more.

a little honesty

2006-04-21T12:27:00.000-07:00

i was able to make it up to auburn last night. which was good, really good. i have so much going on in my heart. i want to share but i don't even know if i can put all of it in words. but im going to try. the Lord has just been revealing and revealing over the past few weeks. and its stuff i don't want to deal with. so i just try to ignore it. i've been going to counseling which has brought a lot of stuff to light. my mom insisted that i go about a month ago. i thought i did not need any one to help me talk out my junk, i'm fine. but i am not. i just push and push and push so much down because i dont want to deal with it. and then eventually, something makes me snap, it could be something really minute but i start to cry and cry and cry everything surfaces and my heart just hurts so bad and then comes the horrible migraine for the grand finale. and then i tell myself im not going to let myself do that again. so i'm good until my next breakdown- basically its a vicious cycle. all that to say, suppressing all those emotions could definitely be a factor adding to my head. infact i know it is. and then there's spiritual attack which alot of people have told me but i really didnt want to admit it. but it is. satan attacks right where i am weak and i break everytime.

i have come to the realization that i am so scared and i have pulled away from everyone that i love. pulling away just made it easier. even after last night which was so great, i have all these emotions all mixed together. and i hate that. so my insticnt is to not go back because its too hard right now.

hearing what matt said last night completely hit my heart. i do need people around that love me to surround me and support me. don't get me wrong tho. some of this time of me by myself with just Jesus has been really good. and i've learned alot. but i do need people.

lately i have become so negative. my thinking is just ridiculous. i've been reading some information that my counseling lady gave me about chronic pain and emotions and negativity that can spurr from it. There are five or six negative ways to think in this article i read and over half of them i was doing. i walk away from a situation and dwell on the bad not the good. and honestly there really is no bad i just have such a negative mindset i think its bad.

and then theres my dependency on everyone around me. i have no one to blame. i let it happen. but now, i'm so scared i can't do the whole thing called life. i'm so scared to try it all again. im so scared of failing. i'm so scared to come back. scared to come back to a place where i love.

i read this quote the other day from ragamuffin gospel. "why am i afraid to dance, i who love music and rhythm and grace and song and laughter? why am i afraid to live, i who love life and the beauty of flesh and the living colors of the earth and sky and sea? why am i afraid to love, i who love love?"

bottom line here- Jesus continues to ask me to trust Him. with all my heart. but i don't. i thought i did, but i don't. maybe i am to scared to trust Him, which sounds ridiculous. i know i question and even doubt what He is doing with me. When we are faithless, He is faithful. thats amazing truth but how i am ever going to move foward if i don't lay down everything, i mean everything. i think i trust Him in my head. i know His promises. but trust is a matter of the heart. and my heart is not there.

i think i'll end with a quote again by the wonderful mr. manning. "when i get honest, i admit i am a bundle of paradoxes. i believe and i doubt, i hope and get discouraged, i love and i hate, i feel bad about feeling good, and i feel guilty about not feeling guilty. i am trusting and suspicious. i am honest and i still play games.....to live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. in admitting my shadow side, i learn who i am and what God's grace means. As Thomas Merton put it, 'a saint is not someone who is good but who experiences the goodness of God.' "

2006-04-16T18:49:00.000-07:00

i've had lots of thoughts today. i guess i do everyday, but i just thought i would share today. today. hmm. i was thinking about which day i like more- good friday- at the cross, i am completely covered in His blood. but today. wow today -Christ CONQUERED death. ok they both are amazing. "sin has lost its power, death has lost its sting. by the cross You have risen VICTORIOUSLY!!" mmm yes, good stuff.

we are covered in His blood. we are covered by His blood. Yes. Jesus is so good. it's fun to look back at places where i was and then really understand it later. you see today when i was thinking, i remembered my mindset in high school. seriously, i remember how everyone was so crazy about Jesus' Blood. not, that i wasn't, i just didn't fully understand. i was like praise Jesus- You rose from the dead, but why are we making such a big deal about the blood- i mean really thinking about blood kind of makes me sick. so i came to college, right. ok and Jesus is so good and He placed me in this amazing community that challenged me daily, even hourly. He is so good. and then the concept was stressed that i am whole in Christ. i am complete in Christ. i am holy and righteous in Christ- but only when i am covered in His blood. Ah- this is huge. this is so huge. i think so many people miss this revelation. where is the gap, where do people miss it. i don't know. i mean heck, i know this truth, i know it. but so many times i forget it. but thats not my point. i guess i just wanted to let everyone know. WE ARE COVERED IN HIS BLOOD

you know, lately its so easy for me to fall into negative thinking. and i hate that. i become so absorbed with myself and i hate where i am and everything thats happening to me. i just forget so easily that its not about me. not one bit. not at all.

today in church they did this thing that i really don't know how to describe except that it was just basically a description of our Father. this one description stood out to me. He is the sum of all human greatness. wow, that was cool. you know how certain words make you see things in a new light. think of all that man has accomplished. so much. and think of all of our potential. alot. but whats even more amazing is that God is all that together times affinity. it was just a nice reminder of how huge and powerful He is!!

all these thoughts don't really flow. but like i said it was all bouncing around in my head today. i really do hope everyone had an incredibly amazing day.

much love
cg

this ain't the first time....

2006-04-13T16:50:00.000-07:00

ok- i love this commercial. not sure why- maybe its because i prefer to buy a cd over the itunes because i like having the cd case and cover. oh the money i have invested in cd's over the years. fun fact about me: my first cd's were Michael Jackson's "History", The Bodyguard Soundtrack, and oh yes, Dance Mix USA vol 2. wow, you guys i literally would move the coffe table out of the way in the den and dance around on my makeshift stage. good times, fun memories. ok so for real- the commercial: http://www.apple.com/ipod/ads/ CHECK IT OUT :)