nothing in particular

I have nothing specific to write all about. I just felt like typing. Let's see where it takes me. My sister is in the back laughing at herself. She is reading some old note that she wrote to my mom. She said "Oh my gosh i spelled thanks with an 'x'." Yes well, I am eating a clementine orange from spain. Well atleast that is what the box says. I have recently "rediscovered" how much I like them. You know, you forget and then you find it and you are like "Yea!! i love this!!" Whenever I see a clementine I always think of Lucy Margaret Thompson. She always had one of these at lunch in high school it seemed like. Oh high school lunch- i will never forget when all the boys who were so mean to me starting chanting "christy g" so the whole lunch room was staring at me. You know christy g- i was trying to figure out where that came about. I think it was in 11th grade. Ryan and Hardy were definitley advocates for it i must say. Its funny to me when people who have known me forever still call me christy g. its ok tho. i've never had a real nick name. this one isnt really its just a part of my full name maybe. except Jayme- she calls me krispy kreme. only because this chick thought my name was christy green and they were like hey that sounds like krispy kreme!! I was talking to becky earlier. she said there is something so exciting about growing up. High school was fun, but this is so much better. It's funny because my senior year in highschool i dont think i could have complained anymore about how much i hated highschool and i was ready for college. But now when i look back, i loved it. Becky and I arrived at the conclusion that high school was really the last time in my life when I had any stability. I'm reading all the blogs. Everyone is saying how the year went by so quickly. I feel just the opposite to be honest. I hate to be debbie downer but i just feel like i have no direction in my life right now. Nothing that is driving me. All i am trying to do is "get healthier", but it seems so far away. I saw jenny the other day. She was just telling me it can't get any worse. and then i said yes that is what you told me this summer. But maybe she is right. it can't get any worse. It's so easy with my situation to just hide from the world. I have found that that option is so much easier. But in the end it will be harder. I can't crawl in my little cave and just let everything and everyone pass me by. I guess its just finding that point in between. Not too much but just enough. And nothing right now brings me joy. That is really really bad. Father please bring me Your joy. It's the only kind worth having. Help me to find and appreciate the small blessings in my life. Help me to keep my mindset "above the line". Draw me closer to You. No one has every loved me like the way You love me, wrap Your arms around me. Father let me look full into Your face so the things of this earth will grow dim compared to Your glory and grace.