Beautifully Broken
I was in the car yesterday and the lyrics of this song totally hit me. The song is actually by ashlee simpson. So i know there is absolutely no musical talent there, but her music is fun to dance to in the car. Anyway, there was this song and the chorus said "I am beautifully broken."
I thought that was such an interesting description. I feel like I am there in a sense. I have been so broken before the Lord for such a long time now. And even though it's so hard, in a sense it is a beautiful place to be- on your face, before the Father, and you have nothing to offer Him except just simply who you are. I have been in a hard place lately. I just have no emotion in me as far as the Lord is concerned. I know that He is so much bigger than emotions and I have to walk by truth, not by how I feel. I was reading Ericka's blog yesterday and she was talking about the overflowing of the heart. I'm just not there. My heart used to be bursting for the Lord. All I wanted to do was praise Him and sing or shout about His glory. But now, I've got nothing. I don't have that passion that I long for. I was thinking about all this yesterday. I think sometimes I try so hard to make sure I'm "doing everything for His Glory". I say that because my intentions were good at the beginning, but I just got caught up in all the details that don't matter. And no matter what I do or don't do, I will always have His acceptance. I am always complete in Him, no questions asked. On a scale of 1 to 10 I am a 10, even if I feel like a -5, I will always be a 10 because Christ is LIVING IN ME!! But I get caught up and I forget to enjoy life and enjoy where I am. Instead I just mope around because I am so frustrated with where I am. I don't even know if I am making any sense trying to put all these thoughts I have into words. I just have to trust completely in the Lord. I have to trust that this place where I am is where He wants me. This place is where he can recieve the most GLORY- I'm still chewing on that. I think we may always be chewing on that for the rest of our lives. But I just have to trust that He is so much bigger than my feelings and that His word is TRUTH and then trust that He is always, always, always FAITHFUL.
I thought that was such an interesting description. I feel like I am there in a sense. I have been so broken before the Lord for such a long time now. And even though it's so hard, in a sense it is a beautiful place to be- on your face, before the Father, and you have nothing to offer Him except just simply who you are. I have been in a hard place lately. I just have no emotion in me as far as the Lord is concerned. I know that He is so much bigger than emotions and I have to walk by truth, not by how I feel. I was reading Ericka's blog yesterday and she was talking about the overflowing of the heart. I'm just not there. My heart used to be bursting for the Lord. All I wanted to do was praise Him and sing or shout about His glory. But now, I've got nothing. I don't have that passion that I long for. I was thinking about all this yesterday. I think sometimes I try so hard to make sure I'm "doing everything for His Glory". I say that because my intentions were good at the beginning, but I just got caught up in all the details that don't matter. And no matter what I do or don't do, I will always have His acceptance. I am always complete in Him, no questions asked. On a scale of 1 to 10 I am a 10, even if I feel like a -5, I will always be a 10 because Christ is LIVING IN ME!! But I get caught up and I forget to enjoy life and enjoy where I am. Instead I just mope around because I am so frustrated with where I am. I don't even know if I am making any sense trying to put all these thoughts I have into words. I just have to trust completely in the Lord. I have to trust that this place where I am is where He wants me. This place is where he can recieve the most GLORY- I'm still chewing on that. I think we may always be chewing on that for the rest of our lives. But I just have to trust that He is so much bigger than my feelings and that His word is TRUTH and then trust that He is always, always, always FAITHFUL.
posted by Christy G at 2/08/2006 08:25:00 AM
2 Comments:
oh sister... i can identify. i know it's frustrating to want to be somehwere spiritually, and yet you feel like you can not practically just GET there. here's great news: you aren't supposed to GET there. He will take you there when you need to go. but in the meantime, you must simply RECEIVE from Him. you can not achieve a certainly level of spirituality. just abide in Him, He'll take you there. i'm glad we're blog buddies. :)
Oh my sweet sweet sister...
Rest in this truth- you do glorify Him! In your sickness you glorify Him. Because of your sickness He is able to use you to glorify Himself- read 2 Corinthians 12 (I've clung to that chapter of the Bible so many times during my health problems!)
You have but ONE purpose- to abide in Him, therefore, glorifying Him! The greatest lesson you will ever learn, is just to love God and be loved by Him in return!
Keep reminding yourself that He is bigger than emotions- there is so much truth in that statement, and so much truth in bethany's comment too! Remember we weren't made to stay on the "mountaintop" with God-- it is in the valleys of life where we see the beauty of our inability meeting His perfect power!
Love you girl. Keep resting in Him <3
Post a Comment
<< Home