Friday, October 24, 2008

choices

I've been reflecting on my life over the past few years. I've mentioned this before, but I'm at a weird place. I think about who I was before I got sick, and then who I was after I got sick. They are two very different extremes. I also think about who I am now, which is somewhere in the middle. I don't really know how to explain it. But anyways, as I come back out of my shell, as I break down these walls that I built up in order to shut out the world, I wonder who I really am.

The other week at Encounter Matt talked about the parable of the talents. He asked what has God given you and what are you doing with it. Are you burying it out of fear? That question keeps playing over and over in my mind. Am I hiding part of who I am, part of who I used to be, because I'm scared? I don't know what exactly I'm scared of. Maybe it's getting so sick again. I've just been wrestling with that. 

As I was thinking about all those things though, it lead me to think about choices that I've made over the past three years. Choices that weren't bad, but just weren't the best. Choices that cut myself off from people. Choices that caused some friendships to slip away. Choices that caused me to miss out on stuff. BUT the other day the Lord brought all these thoughts to a halt.

I've been reading through Isaiah, and it's so wonderful. The passage that leapt out at me was ch. 43 v. 18-19.

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing A NEW THING! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."

The Lord is doing something NEW in me. He is. I know it, I feel it. And that is just SO encouraging. I need to stop worrying about what has happened. Forget about it, because He already has. Not only has He forgotten it, but He is working something new and refreshing and exciting in me. In me. Why He is that good, and that gracious I will never be able to understand, but that doesn't mean it's not happening. He is moving. He is working things out. He is doing something new. And that is all I need to know. 

Isn't it so great how He moves and reveals things to us. I found this so encouraging which is why I decided to share it. Now matter what we have chosen to do in the past, He still chooses to work in us. He is faithful. He is always faithful. Even when we are faithless, he is faithful.

So I can sit and waste my life wondering about the past, wondering who I am, or I can choose to claim my identity in Christ, walk in His truth, and let Him work in and through me. 

I think I will choose the second option. What good am I doing if I choose the first? 

2 Comments:

Blogger Corie said...

This is so encouraging Louise!
Thanks for sharing!!!

It is such an inspiration, reading about how you are living for God.

7:34 PM  
Blogger Corie said...

Oops!
I accidentally typed Louise cause I was on her blog last.... sorry Christy!!!!!

7:34 PM  

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