There is a lot on my heart right now and I'm not quite sure where to jump in. God is stirring my heart, which is incredible. It's definitley an answered prayer. But in this stirring, I've become so aware of how unworthy I am. I have nothing at all to offer to the Father. Big Daddy Weave has a song and the lyrics say my righteousness is like filthy rags. That is right where I am. And then I still fall back into the mindset of I deserve everything I have. Poor, pitiful little me, with such a hard life. It's so easy to be bitter and cynical. I've spent the past year doing it. Why is it so easy to just be mad at everyone and everything. I hate that it is so easy for me to fall back into that mindset. I'm asking the Lord to pull me out, peel back the layers I've built around my heart. I like to think of Eustice in the Narnia books. It's going to hurt. It already hurts. I feel like my heart is so raw, and yet there is still so many walls around it. Some of them I think I put up daily. Maybe like a defense mechanism. A way to deal with everything. And I mean yes, my life has been really hard the past couple of years. But everyone goes through hard times. I regret so many things, so many things I said, so many ways I presented myself. BUT thats why Christ is so beautiful. His blood covers up all of that. He pours His grace out all over me. Praise the Lord for His mercy and grace. Can you imagine our world without it? Wow I really just poured my heart out. I haven't done that in a really long time. But I think that vulnerability is a good thing. A scary thing, but a good thing. And that's all that I'll share for today. Thank you Father, for your incredible unfailing love. "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." -lcg-