Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Where Did The Semester Go??

I'm still alive. I promise. I actually typed up a witty little post about a month ago, but after publishing it, something happened. Nothing posted, nor was anything saved. It was wonderful. I went on and on about why I felt Pride and Prejudice is quite possibly one of the best books ever written. It will always and forever be in my top 5 favorite books. But anyway, I'm in a Jane Austen, fiction and film, class this semester, and while it is kicking my butt, I'm absolutely loving it. We were reading P&P earlier, and it was just so wonderful. So far we have read Pride & Prejudice, Northanger Abbey, Sense & Sensibility, and Mansfield Park. They are so wonderful. My teacher is great too. He's the type that pushes and challenges you, which are the ones that end up making you the better student for it. I'm learning to appreciate the genius of Austen though. I won't go on much more, but she was just so brilliant. When you actually start to analyze the text, it's astonishing.

So, as you can see, I've been very busy reading. On top of Jane Austen, I have mythology, ancient Greece and Persia, and theatre. I love them all, there are just lots of projects, papers, tests, and massive amounts of reading. My work load has tripled (literally) since last semester, so I have been trying to figure out how to handle that much work. You know, how to balance it, how to make it all work, along with my head, which has proven to be very trying.

My head has not been very cooperative these past few months. I've just hit a bad spell, which is discouraging on so many levels. It's nothing I'm doing, it just is there. I'm actually trying some new medicine though, which seems to help a little. It's actually a med they use for Alzheimer's patients, but they have seen some success with it for preventing migraines, so we will see.

With my head getting worse, it sent me to this place of just frustration and almost despair. Just the whole mindset of what is this. You know, Lord what is this? Why have You brought me here? What are You trying to teach me? What really is healing? What are the schools of thought on healing within the Christian community? What do I believe? Is there something I'm not doing? Do I not have enough faith? Is that it? Or is that wrong?

It's been an interesting journey. And I know it's nowhere near over. It's probably something I will wrestle with for the rest of my life. There are so many questions, ideas, concepts that I'm working through. But, for now, the Lord used all of this anger and frustration, and somehow helped me channel it into this mad search through His word to find answers.

And I'm not just finding answers, but I'm rediscovering the fundamental core truths of the Gospel. Not that I forgot them, by any means, but someone once told me that the Gospel is so powerful, that it should change you every time you encounter it. And I'm finding that there is a lot of truth in that. The simple truths of the Gospel somehow can be rediscovered and hold such deeper meaning, despite the fact that you've read it through 100 times before.

I've been reading through scripture in the Amplified Bible. I LOVE this translation. For me, I grew up memorizing scripture in school, so I have a tendancy to just read over scripture. Almost like, oh yea, I know what that says, here let me close my bible and recite it. But somehow, I'm not letting that truth sink in. I'm not letting it TRANSFORM me. So reading through the Amplified is awesome. I find it really challenging.

So, all that to say, I've been really busy with school, which is why I've been MIA. And, Jesus is doing ALOT in my heart, which is awesome. So hopefully I will post sooner than later. I guess only time will tell. Until next time. -lcg-