*LOST*

I have to report that i am very sad. it's almost 8pm on wednesday night and there is no more new "Lost" episodes. They are starting over with season 2 this summer starting tonight. however there is a interactive game going on called the "lost experience" where we will get clues during the episodes this summer. Anyone who knows me, knows how much i love lost. the writing is brilliant. brilliant i tell you!! if you haven't jumped on the bandwagon yet, you get another chance this summer!! i'm not kidding. it's almost addicting. atleast for me anyways. so season finale was last week and -WOW- what a crazy night!!! there was an hour left and i had absolutley no idea what was going to happen!!! i can't wait until september to see what happens- where the heck they take jack, kate, and sawyer. how hurley gets back across the island by himself. what happens with sayid, jin, and sun. if locke, eko, and desmond at are alive (i think they are....rumor has it desmond could be a cast regular next season), what the heck happened with the violet sky and noise and such. wow so many cliff hangers. and most importantly- was that really jack's twin at the end?!?! i'm telling my theory is that its his twin. oh yea and i read the book that they released by a fictional author who died in tragic plane crash on oceanic flight 815 "bad twin". its pretty darn good. ok so really i could write pages and pages more about the best tv show ever. but i must go- almost 8 and i gotta get that clue!!! oh yeah- i'm still working on my questions list. i very well may post it. :) peaceout to all.
-cg-

-TRUTH-

Christ came to set the captive free- no matter what kind of yoke binds them.
He came to bind up the brokenhearted- no matter what broke the heart.
He came to open the eyes of the blind- no matter what veiled their vision.
- Beth Moore

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,

because the LORD has anointed me

to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners,

to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor

and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness

instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the LORD

for the display of his splendor.
They will rebuild the ancient ruins

and restore the places long devastated;

they will renew the ruined cities

that have been devastated for generations."

Isaiah 61:1-4

How To Deal

there is this movie, how to deal, and i absolutely loved it. everyone i know actually hated it except for laura. we loved it. anyways, i thought the title was appropriate because basically the past two years of my life has been my learning "how to deal".

so i mentioned this earlier but i am learning just alot about alot of things. so in all this learning i have discovered alot about myself. and basically i have decided to not really post how i am doing or whats going on in my heart anymore. who knows i may get on to just write about nonsense, because sometimes i like that sort of thing, but no more than that. it's not that i don't want people to know, but 1- im justing putting all my stuff out there. not everyone deserves to know that. not everyone wants to know that. 2- i have figured out that i just dump all my problems like 2 seconds after i meet someone. or even many of you. and they didn't ask to know, i just went on and on and on. knowing all this information about me could be burdensome for some people, and they didn't ask for that. it kind of reminds me of the movie mean girls where lindsey lohan's character had "word vomit". now hers was just being mean and talking about people. but she couldn't stop it. i start to spill my guts and i just don't stop. i hate that i have put so much about me just out there, but i can't change whats happened, i can only change from here on out. 3- people do get on here and read about how i am doing. and they know. and they care. and thats good. but it hurts me because instead of calling me or emailing me they just get on to check and i get gypped because there is no personal checking on me and i need that.

i don't mean for all of this to come off rude or anything. its just part of me growing up and learning from my mistakes. i know its an acceptance thing. and my mindset was if i put everything out there, that person could turn around run in the other direction or embrace me. and that all comes from the lie that i have believed for so long that i am too much to handle.

i apologize to anyone who feels like i threw all this information at them and you didn't even want to know in the first place. everyone has got their stuff, but its just something you keep to yourself, or as a friendship develops you slowly begin to share.

i guess one good thing out of all of this is that i have learned a valuable lesson. the Lord is showing me things that are keeping me captive.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. " Gal 5:1

So if you really want to know how i am doing, just ask me. it's the best thing for me right now. everyone has been so supportive and i am so grateful for all of the encouragement and prayers.
I am signed up for classes and it looks like i'm 90% sure i'm coming back in the fall. i miss all of you. hopefully i will see some of you at encounter this summer. i feel like i'm saying my goodbyes. i guess i'm just saying my internet goodbyes. but like i said, this is the best thing for me. and i am just learning how to deal. i'll end on this note. i want to live in the reality that Christ is life. i want all of us to live in the reality that Christ is life.

"From Him, through Him, and to Him are all things, to Him be the glory forevemore"

my week

so right now i'm listening to the fray. i picked their cd up earlier this afternoon. its definitely worth the purchase- so far i love it. ah i digress. so, now the real reason for this post.

God is faithful. so faithful. How can i ever doubt Him? i'll fall into some kind of a funk and i get so mad at God. Last year i remember telling patrick and robin one night that i've never felt so far away from the Lord but at the same time felt so close to Him.

and wow- so much revelation about just me and how i handle friendships and patterns that i fall into and just such negative thinking. the Lord is showing me so much. He is literally remolding me, and at times it hurts so bad. but at times like these i'm so thankful. Last spring i had this total identity crisis. all these questions. who am i? what are my strengths? what makes me, me? why are people friends with me? i felt like i had no idea, like not even a clue, as to who i was. my identity is found in Christ. praise the Lord. but he made me exactly how i am for a purpose. a purpose so much bigger than me. and its been so amazing to have this chance to really look at who i am. to be at the point where i had nothing to offer. nothing. except just my very being. my very existence. and that was it. Jesus pulled me through. i mean like He was dragging me. i didn't want to go any farther.

alot of you may remember about me getting hit by a car. well half way hit. it was december of '04. i was walking across college street on the cross walk. i had just come out of cambridge. anyway when you walk across there are two lanes of traffic and this guy came out of no where. i think he was speeding just to catch that light to turn left onto magnolia. anyway the car brushed/hit me. i mean like my hip knocked off the mirror of the car and there was a dent on my boot where the tire ran over my foot and dirt all along my left leg from the car. i mean crazy. like if i had been like a tenth of a second later and i would have been gone. there were two girls a bit ahead of me. one of them came running up to me and the other one had run off screaming. the second girl came back and said she was sorry she ran but she thought there was going to be blood everywhere. i mean Jesus and his angels had to be completely surrounding me. and after all was said and done alot of people laughed and were like how can you walk into a car? which was fine i mean humor is fine. but the first girl who came over to me walked me on across the rest of the street and sat with me for a few minutes. and then she said something along the lines like obviously Jesus still has something for you here to do.

i tend to mark the start of my "sickness" (i dont know what else to call it) when i went to nashville at the beginning of Jan '05 for new years and passion and i had to go home because my head was so bad. literally my mom drove up from montgomery picked me up and drove back home in one day.

so anyways all of that story just has always been in the back of my mind ever since then. especially when i think what is happening to me. i don't want to do this anymore. and then i hear that He still has something he wants to do with me here.

wow so all of that was totally the Lord because i didn't plan on writing about that. maybe it will offer some encouragement somewhere. Jesus is just that good.

what i did get on here to say (im going to like mucho condense it now) is that i have had a good week. i have had a good week!! guys its been a long time since i have been able to say that.

so at the close of a completely wonderful unexpected week, I give all my praise to the Father. He is so good. All the glory truly belongs to Him and Him alone.

"So it's paramount that you keep the commandments of GOD, your God, walk down the roads he shows you and reverently respect him. GOD is about to bring you into a good land, a land with brooks and rivers, springs and lakes, streams out of the hills and through the valleys. It's a land of wheat and barley, of vines and figs and pomegranates, of olives, oil, and honey. It's land where you'll never go hungry--always food on the table and a roof over your head. It's a land where you'll get iron out of rocks and mine copper from the hills." Dueteronomy 8:6-9

Jesus I am eagerly awaiting the Promised Land you have set out for me. I want the abundant and full life that You have promised.

"Pain is a part of life, but don't let it blind you"

graduation festivities

I feel like i'm learning so much these days. i mean ALOT. which is good. always good. anyway i am headed off to trinity(where i went to school). my sister is graduating this year and they have a "senior slide show" so i'm going to that. the crazy thing to me is that i swear it seems like yesterday i was at my senior slide show. ahh and that was two years ago!!! i just can't believe it. i was telling brooke that today was a fun day and i remember it so clearly and then she asked me about graduation. i really don't remember too much from that day. i remember before getting ready, and then a bit of the reception after, but the actual walking up on stage and getting my diploma- its definitley fuzzy. wierd. oh well thats all i really have time to say, but its always fun to reminisce!!
-cg-

leprechaun

some of you may have heard about this, but its just too crazy to not share. not to mention embarassing for alabama. my sister told me that one of her friends heard about a news story about people seeing a leprechaun in mobile. ebaums has gotten ahold of it. at first i thought it was a joke, but the video report seems to be real one done by a local news station. ok so here's the link:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/leprechaun.html
hope you enjoy while you are having a really good laugh!!

randomness

ok, so i read this on someone's blog. thought it would be kinda fun. and i'm slightly bored.

IN THE LAST MONTH HAVE YOU
1. Bought something: yes, and i think all of it is from Target
2. Gotten sick? yes (big surprise, i know)
3. Been hugged?: yes
4. Felt stupid?: yes
5. Talked to an ex: does facebook count?
6. Missed someone: yes!!! lots of people :)
7. Danced crazy: yes, of course
8. Gotten your hair done: no
9. Lied: um yes

UNIQUE
1. Nervous habits: i clench my teeth when i'm stressed or angry
2. Are you double jointed?: yes my arm, according to jenny letner, but i dont really know
3. Can you roll your tongue?: nope- did you know that characteristic is genetic though?
4. Can you raise one eyebrow?: no i can't, and i didn't realize that until i just tried
5. Can you cross your eyes?: i can but i havent done that since i was a kid. remember those 3-d books and the image in the pattern- if you cross your eyes then look you can see it
6. Do you make your bed daily?: at home no, but at school yes. strange i know
7. Do you think you are unique?: of course!

HAVE YOU EVER
1. Said "I Love you" and meant it?: i have a theory on saying i love you. when you are younger, you say it, and you mean it at that point in time. and as you get older you realize what you thought was love is so much bigger. but that doesn't mean it wasn't real when you were younger. kind of like there are levels. and the first few levels are real, but your definitition of love was just smaller. i hope that makes sense. so my answer- yes at the time i meant it
2. Given money to a homeless person?: no, i feel kind of stupid to say no, but i just grew up around the mindset that all the homeless people you see on the side of the interstate just want money to go buy more alcohol.

MANNER
1. Do you swear?: no, its not a habit. but lets be honest- i think everyone does every once in a while.
2. Do you ever spit?: no, not just spitting for the heck of it
3. You cook your own food?: some things- i'm still learning
4. You do your own chores?: yes and no- i'm slightly spoiled (but hey, admitting it is the first step, right?)
5. You like beef jerky?: that stuff looks so disgusting
6. You like pepsi or coke?: coke (in my head i was saying coke the way callie says it)
7. You're happy with your hair?: yes but i do wish it would stop getting darker, although i have been told they like the golden blonde more than the white blonde i had in highschool.
8. You own a dog?: yes, maddie, yellow lab. shes so crazy, but i love her to death
9. You spend your money wisely?: eh
10. Do you like to swim?: in the ocean, yes, swimming in a pool is boring to me, i'd rather lay on a float or something
11. When you get bored do you call a friend?: um not so much anymore. i mean i call people, just its not the first thing i do when i get bored.
12. Are you patient?: um yes and no

WHAT DO YOU PREFER
1. flowers or angels?: flowers- daisies or roses
2. gray or black?: black most definitley
3. Color or black and white photos?: just for pictures, color, if you want it to look artistic or whatever, black and white
4. lust or love?: um, love- who would put lust??
5. sunrise or sunset?: both are beautiful- i don't think i can decide between the two
6. M&Ms or Skittles?: skittles
7. rap or rock?: Rock, all rap sounds the same to me
8. staying up late or waking up early?: neither, i like to get my sleep, thank you!

MORE OF WHAT DO YOU PREFER
1. being hot or cold?: Cold
2. Winter or Fall?: fall
3. left or right: left
4. having 10 acquaintances or 2 best friends?: i have a theory- there isn't one person who can be your absolute best friend. you can have people who know your heart, and you can have people who you just love to goof around with. but i have found there isn't any one person who you can share everything in your life with. maybe a husband and a wife. i don't know. ill let you know when i find mine.
5. sunshine or rain?: rain
6. vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? chocolate
7. boys or girls?: boys are fun but you gotta have your girls too

ok so, i definitely did more than just simply answer the question. i guess i just am complicated, but thats ok, i already knew that. atleast now you know a few random things about me :)

a bigger perspective

"Glory, Glory, All the Glory, Glory to Your Name"

thank you so much to everyone that has reached out to me over the past few weeks. i felt so alone. Praise the Lord- He proved me wrong.

so lately Jesus just keeps telling me- it's all about My Glory. yes He hates that I am in pain, but bottom line, it is all about Him. I keep praying that the Lord will heal me, but last week i realized there are so many amazing people who are never healed, some even die. but it is all because of a bigger plan. I am still praying that the Lord would heal me, but now my prayers also include Lord show me how to live with this. i keep thinking about paul and the thorn in his flesh. this is definitely a thorn in my flesh. but i need to let Jesus show me how i can work through it and let Him be the strongest where i am the weakest.

a couple of weeks ago courtney posted a quote from screwtape letters and i cannot get it out of my head. "not desiring, but still intending"

"From Him, through Him and to Him are all things. to Him be the glory forevermore"

Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Look full in His wonderful face.
And the things of the earth will grow strangley dim
in light of His glory and grace.