There is a lot on my heart right now and I'm not quite sure where to jump in. God is stirring my heart, which is incredible. It's definitley an answered prayer. But in this stirring, I've become so aware of how unworthy I am. I have nothing at all to offer to the Father. Big Daddy Weave has a song and the lyrics say my righteousness is like filthy rags. That is right where I am. And then I still fall back into the mindset of I deserve everything I have. Poor, pitiful little me, with such a hard life. It's so easy to be bitter and cynical. I've spent the past year doing it. Why is it so easy to just be mad at everyone and everything. I hate that it is so easy for me to fall back into that mindset. I'm asking the Lord to pull me out, peel back the layers I've built around my heart. I like to think of Eustice in the Narnia books. It's going to hurt. It already hurts. I feel like my heart is so raw, and yet there is still so many walls around it. Some of them I think I put up daily. Maybe like a defense mechanism. A way to deal with everything. And I mean yes, my life has been really hard the past couple of years. But everyone goes through hard times. I regret so many things, so many things I said, so many ways I presented myself. BUT thats why Christ is so beautiful. His blood covers up all of that. He pours His grace out all over me. Praise the Lord for His mercy and grace. Can you imagine our world without it? Wow I really just poured my heart out. I haven't done that in a really long time. But I think that vulnerability is a good thing. A scary thing, but a good thing. And that's all that I'll share for today. Thank you Father, for your incredible unfailing love. "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." -lcg-

So much to say

Remember the dmb song so much to say. good song. ok but i really do have so much to say. I can't decide what I should talk about. First, I should just say that I suck at closing when it comes to writing. I noticed it in reading back over some posts. I just can't get the hang of rounding out all of my thoughts. I'm sad that I let this drop off for a while. But here I am so. Ok so lets see. Can I just say that J.K. Rowling is incredible. oh my the book was amazing. so wonderful. so much better. so not what I was expecting. oh i loved it. I have a few lingering questions though. I might wait and post those in a few days though. Some people may not be through with the book yet and I do not want to be responsible for spoiling anything for anyone. Ok second thing. Lost. Ah, my obsession. But anyways Comic-Con is tomorow! yay!! Of course nothing will top last years Rachel Blake appearance, but Damon Lindeloff and Carlton Cuse are supposed to break "Radio Silence". Ahh. That show is so brilliant!!! Now lets see. I can't exactly remember what else I was going to write about. So this post wasn't too deep or too witty. Maybe I'll have to work my way back into it. Oh I know what I was going to say. The Emmy's. Ok Lost did get snubbed, no best drama or best actor, but as doc arzt on tailsection was saying, we did get some great nominations. So hats off to everyone who works so hard on that show. Your work is greatly appreciated. So here I am, at the end of today's post and once again and I suck at closing. So I will quote the lovely desmonde from lost and simply say "The End!".

Long Time No Post

I have not posted in a super long time. I highly doubt that people check this anymore, but people maybe come upon it by happenstance(is that how you spell it?) or randomness or people from Lost websites (shout out to darkufo.blogspot.com!!). My fingers have been itching to write a little lately and this is a good outlet for me I think. I think doing this helps me gather my thoughts and put them into words which will be useful if I ever do become a writer (sigh, it's a dream, but hey why not dream big, right??). I actually couldn't figure out for the longest time how to log back in on this thing because they changed some things. Oh well, I digress. I was looking over some old posts. Wow the Lord has led me through some mountains and some valleys the past two years. Ok, mostly valleys, wilderness, desert. "But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there. I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope." I must remember that He is faithful. He is ALWAYS faithful. I think thats a good note to end on for today I think. So, peaceout for now.
-lcg-